#bro this is so long and so much filler but I don’t care

[emmyrosee]

Imagine having a kid with Sukuna and him urging you to have a day out after giving birth and taking care of the baby so you can have a fun stress free day with friends, and then him having a daddy daughter date. I thought it’s cute 🥰

oh… oh you KNOW HOW I FEEEEEEEEL ABOUT A DAD!AU (bro this got so long im sO SORRY-)

———

“Okay, there’s three bottles of milk in the fridge.”

“Okay.”

“And her melts are in the cabinet!”

“I know, I live here too.”

“Oh! And her stuffed lamb is her favorite to nap with-“

“Babe,” Sukuna laughs, wrapping an arm around you. In his other arm, Akiara is held securely, with an arm under her thighs to keep her perched against his chest, the pacifier in her mouth bouncing as she rattles a small toy in her hands. “I got this. It’ll be fine.”

“Okay, but if you need me, call me.”

“I’m not going to call you. Go have fun,” he encourages. Deep down, he knows you’re terrified to leave the baby with anyone for more than 15 minutes, always keeping her in close proximity and within earshot. The farthest you’ve gone is to shower while Sukuna indulges with tummy time, and it seems that every time, you’re surprised the house hasn’t crumbled in the brief period.

But Akiara is five months now. And your friends begged you to come shopping with them, missing you from outings with the group. Sukuna knows you trust him implicitly, but your separation anxiety is physically felt in the air this point. He pulls you in for a hug and presses a kiss to the crown of your head, “go. If the house catches on fire, I’ll call you. Otherwise, I can handle a few hours with my own spawn.” You tense slightly, and he offers you a stern look, “do you trust me?”

“Of course I do, but-“

“Then let me take care of everything. Go.”

You offer him a shaky sigh and make your way over to Akiara in his arms, “mommy loves you so much, okay?” You whisper. She babbles and grabs your hair, and Sukuna can see the nervous tears welling up. “I’ll be home in two hours tops.”

“Don’t time yourself,” he chuckles. “Go with your girlfriends. I gave you the credit card, go buy some clothes, or a necklace, or those expensive ass pastries you love so much.” Then, he nods his head towards the door, “scram. Before you cry your mascara off.”

“Okay,” you sigh. “Okay-“ you blow them both a few kisses as you slowly make your way to the door, “I love you both so much. Behave. Oh, and nap time is at 1:30-“

“Babe. Go,” he snickers. He watches as you open the door and walk backwards out, your eyes focused on the two of them until the door shuts fully, keeping you outside and them on the inside. Sukuna sighs in relief and he adjusts Akiara to be held arms length, “you, stinky girl, need a bath,” he hums, and when the little girl coos, he brings her tiny body up to his mouth to playfully bite her chubby belly, hiccupy laughter filling the air briefly before he pulls a face of disgust and holds her back out. “Yeah. You stink. Like a lot.”

Sukuna wastes no time in setting up her bathtub and cleansing the tiny child with her soaps, letting her splash the warm water for some time until she reaches up for him. He barely gets her out of the tub and into a towel before his phone buzzes wildly. He sighs and answers it, “do I have to block your number?”

“No!” You whine. “I just wanted to see how things were going. I just got to the restaurant, wanted to make sure everything was okay before I ate.”

“Well the dog got out, I broke a vase and our kid went to college, so not great,” he says flatly, and when you huff in annoyance, and smirks, “everything is fine. She just had a bath, I’m trying to dry her off, and then we’re going to watch some of those dancing fruits she likes so much. Goodbye.”

“Wait- you bathed her before you fed her?” You ask.

He pulls his mouth into a straight line, “yes. Because she smelt like shit fart-“

“Sukuna!” You snap.

“If I have to bathe her again, I will. It’s not the end of the world,” he tries to soothe. When you click your tongue he chuckles again. “Okay. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye,” you say, ending the phone call. He pockets the device and looks down at his child. “Shes your mother alright,” he says. His daughter merely babbles and chews on her fingers. He gets her settled into a clean diaper before hoisting her back and onto his hip, making his way to the living room, resting her on his massive stomach and clicking on the TV for some entertainment. There’s a baseball game on, surely you won’t mind if he indulges while his baby lays on his chest.

The colors are good stimulation.

“Who you got money on?” He asks Akiara, who blinks eyes like yours up at him. When she smiles a gummy smile, he shrugs, “I don’t know. They’ve got a really good pitcher.” His thick fingers gently stroke up and down her spine, so gently and warm that he feels Akiara’s breathing slowly even out, his little girl falling asleep on his chest. He winces, he knows you’re not going to be thrilled about an early nap time, but who the hell is he to wake a sleeping baby?

A sleeping baby who sleeps for hours. You’re going to be pissed at him.

By the time the game is over, Akiara is still fast asleep on his chest, tiny hands balled into fists as her long lashes lay on her cheeks. Sukuna’s gotta give you credit, you haven’t called or texted since her bath, and now it’s well into four hours since you’ve left and you’re still out with your friends. He’s proud of you.

He’s not sure how long in total Akiara was sleeping for, but not long after the game, she slowly twitches awake, eyes fluttering open before fixating on him. He watches fondly as her body slowly wakes up, starting with her sleepy eyes that blink open, followed by her mouth which opens to let out the smallest yawn.

“Good morning, sleepy girl,” he hums, gently cradling the back of her head. “Was that a good nap?” Akiara merely thunks her head back against his chest in response. He kisses her head softly before standing up, shuffling to the kitchen to grab one of the prepared bottles from the fridge. He pops it in her mouth, where her tiny fists assist him in holding it. The child drinks the milk happily, wide eyes blinking as she downs the beverage hungrily. He smirks, “definitely my kid.”

With that, you come home.

He can tell by the jingling of keys you’re trying to hurry in as fast as possible, and he snickers at your struggle. Once the door finally creaks open, you haul your bags into the home and kick the door shut, smiling as your eyes land on your little family. “Hey you.”

“What’s up?” He hums, kissing you as you get close. “How was it?”

“It was great!” You squeal, and he can’t fight the way his heart squeezes at your excitement. “I got some new dresses, a pair of heels, some perfumes- oh, and I got you a cologne-“

“That’s my girl,” he says, but he can tell your attention is focused on the small girl he’s currently burping, and he shrugs, “you want to take over?”

When you nod sheepishly, he gently passes Akiara over to you, and you coo down at her, “hi, Mumma’s girl,” you coo, and she burps loudly in your face. “Well excuse you!”

Sukuna can’t fight the laughter that barks from his throat, snickers tearing through until you’re smiling and shaking your head, and he pulls you in for another hug.

He loves that his small family fits in his arms.

[louisisalarrie]

heyy, what relationship do you think louis has with F? I know you don't believe that's his son, but personally I have many doubts on the whole thing and one of the main reasons is that i think he genuinely cares about him. I mean the way he talks about him and everything, and i dont mean interviews only, for example that time after a show when he met a little fan and he asked them how old they were and then he said something like "my little F is 7", he just said that bc he wanted to, so why would he do if he doesn't care about him? and I'm not saying that proofs that's his son, I'm just asking bc most larries that I see they claim that lou doesn't give a fuck about F, but I think he really does

hello lovely! if you are having doubts and want more info, check out this tags page that has a heap of bbg content from over the years that may help you make your mind up. and thank you for being respectful of what I believe even if you’re not sure 100% where you stand on it. so thank you and great to have you here!

I’ve touched on something similar to this before, in which, we know how much louis loves kids. him and his little sisters and bro, young fans, his sisters’ kids etc. like every situation we see him with a kid in, he lights up. same with Harry

anyway, I think bbg got out of hand and when it became far more long term and he had to be pictured with this child, he probably felt very frustrated and shitty that it got this far. He probably feels bad for the kid that his family got him involved in this, and now this kid won’t ever have a normal life. and so, he’s hung out with this kid every once in a while, watching him grow up, and I can imagine he probably does care about him a lot. He’s a very caring guy in general, and so under the circumstances, he’s trying to make this work the best he can.

He’s not gonna sit there and be like “gross kid get tf away from me” lol, but he’s balancing this distance of not being too close to become such a permanent fixture in his life, and not hurting this kid’s feelings. Again, it’s hard to know what F believes as he’s only like 8 or so, so I’m not sure how much they’ve divulged with him, but I’m pretty positive he’d know louis isn’t his dad by now tbh. but louis probably just feels shitty and wants to at least have the kid spend time having fun with him, rather than miserable for a life he didn’t choose.

Re your comment about him talking about F to the fans… in my opinion, bbg is now at the level of pretty much a strictly fan service stunt, and has been for a while now. we get the little gap filler articles from bored journalists like “all about louis tomlinson’s son!” etc. every once in a while, but otherwise it’s not really gaining him much publicity these days. he’ll mention him when he does those random Twitter chats, interviews here and there, and we get our annual Christmas photo (nothing for Father’s Day this year tho cough cough), but the GP don’t… care about it. But we as fans who follow his sisters’ accounts and are more invested, bbg is brought up for us. So because it’s not shoved in our faces from the press all the time, it’s easier to keep going with it by doing a mention about it here and there.

they still have this stunt as a bombshell to drop when necessary, though. Louis could gain some mad publicity with the end of it and still come out looking good, so it’s kinda just there until they find a suitable time for it to drop, which I have a feeling will be soon since it is so fan focused now.

lining up the end of stunts with releases/other big press news etc. is also quite tricky. this one has to be delicate because it’s got a kid involved, too.

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

I Don't Like how I Feel abt JJK S2

aka making sense of my very confused watch and thusly, my very confusing feelings

what i feel is JJK 2's biggest fault is a lack of a concrete voice, particularly in terms of tonal fluidity and character dynamics + characterization, which is what made JJK 1 so amazing to begin with. this really dampens the stakes, especially when, apart from mahito, the fight mechanics and raw physicality that JJK 1 & 0 so effortlessly captured seem to be absent. like yk you're fcking up when u have a shounen bro asking for less fight scenes.

i just feel as if, other than sotosugu, which geto is carrying on his hunching, scoliosis riddled back, i don't GET the dynamics. none of the characters made me care, they didn't connect with me beyond a superficial level, which is maybe a skill issue but ik its entirely possible when the show became #great-again and made me give 100% of a fawk about geto in TWO episodes. the tonal mastery on display there, the pacing, his sense of isolation, his deteriorating sense of self, its all conveyed so eloquently, like we are IN his head.

it also makes amanai's loss tangible, it gives us consequences and stakes and demonstrates the weight of that raw, human friendship. it nuances geto in a way i felt was absent in the other characters and thusly made them feel flat and insignificant. — having written more now, i think what stands out to me is how filed down the characters feel, like i just realized yuuji doesn’t feel RIGHT anymore, like i’m missing a sort of energy he used to bring to the table which made his softer moments feel more authentic yet pronounced, and i think that’s what’s plagued the new characters as well, a lack of concrete ENERGY.

long post!!

and jjk doesn't really do that sort of thing, its strength USED to lie in the compelling nature of its dynamics and character relations, but now that that's suffered under the transition of authorial voice, i think they've struck GOLD with the introspective storytelling method.

part of what made JJK 1 & 0 so great is it felt as if its light beats were ALSO in service of either narrative, plot or progression of the dynamics and we got to invest in and learn more abt the respective characters through every tonal beat we were taken through, what they got serious abt, what triggered them, how they relate to others. but with the first 3 or so episodes of JJK 2, which are very little in retrospect, but GLARING in an episode by episode watch approach, especially when contrasted again JJK 0, or JJK 1 (which, while cringe at first cause i watched downloaded eps and i used to have a shameful penchant for dub so obviously the cringe was threatening to disengage me, plus a few odd shots which had me like damn, amateur hour — which btw i STILL feel/felt that way abt s2. despite the animation being so amazing that upon teasers first dropping I was pretty much assured that it would be a sensory delight no matter what, but gorgeous moving pictures does not a good show make it seems. like you are NOT sam levinson my dudes, you don’t convey the sheer SPECTACLE that makes that approach work —, but that feeling was dispelled within an episode and I was just as hyped as i’ve always felt upon JJK rewatches), it has a timeless quality to it, its very sure in its direction and its characters and how they interlink. plus the fights are great and often used to convey smth abt the characters or their relationships.

while s2 has me like… ok so what happened in the first 3 episodes? everything felt like filler, everything felt inconsequential, everything felt shallow.

and that’s in NO part bc of the new (sort of) cast of characters, i gaf abt JJK 0, like yuta wasn’t bbg but i loved watching him form relationships with the other characters (especially inumaki, yuta x inumaki otp you heard it here first. like at first i didn’t GET inumaki but upon a rewatch i started to catch onto his linguistic patterns and how soft of a character he REALLY is, like inumaki is so baby 🥺, and the two connecting over being edgy soft boys had me SEATED.

especially when yuta got over his preconceptions abt inumaki borne of the fact that he doesn’t communicate conventionally, and he had thusly fashioned a personality FOR inumaki that stemmed from him being different. but it didn’t feel so extreme that i felt undercurrents of discrimination, poor boy is just traumatized and views ppl who are cold to him as antagonistic, so i get it, especially bc his reactions were more on the softer comedic side. but he then realizes that dude is just the nicest guy ever and not being able to speak doesn’t mean you’re a scary or odd person), and while his whole thing with rika was kind of saccharine and had fbi ON speed dial, i came to really appreciate HOW he cursed rika and how her love for him was so pure, like it felt universal and unrestrained by any label and that’s smth beautiful to me cause things could’ve gone ban from seven deadly sins REAL fast and they subverted that.

but i also don’t feel that its coincidence that i felt more engaged by preestablished characters and their dynamics (the main trio and their reintroduction into the story). they have a shorthand, a familiarity that gojosquad lacked, and i’ve come to realize as i write that that’s intrinsic to always being the highest in the room (wink wink), but if that’s the case then that needs to be tangibly demonstrated, give small tells that despite wanting or trying to, gojo lacks the capacity for intimate human bonds outside of one guy, he’s a product of jujutsu society, which will always distance him from conventionality and attachments. give it significance and intention within the story bc without it being written in, it makes the show feel tonally disjointed and unrefined.

give us personal moments between sugusoto, shorthands or glances or shifts in tone or whatever that capture the duration and depth of their bond, show us them caring abt each other in a way only two untouchable people can, how their eyes always find each other first, how even when with others gojo is always watching geto, like i need moments™ (it doesn’t have to be showboating and glamorized depictions of interactions ALL the time, the quiet moments matter too). like don’t get me wrong i FAWKED with the aquarium scene but i think its telling how long it took me to recall it bc it was ONE moment, yk. like i want to FEEL how despite the loss or uncertainty of those around them they always have each other. THAT’S what’s missing. meggy and yu to the uji had that with their sukuna fight and megumi pledging to protect those he cares abt, in fact meggy came in swinging bc you had a strong sense of who he was and that he cared from day 1. i need their priorities and drives established, i need to know WHO they are. like yes the: who are you and what do you want scene from JJK 0 was ham-fisted and made retrieving my eyeballs from where they’d lodged into the back of my skull quite difficult, but stuff like that is needed and CAN be done tactfully. like i feel this season is all abt subtlety and undercurrents so that when the sheer shitshow that is obviously going to burst forth comes about we’re #shook but its called balance, and its initially what made JJK so great.

and with 1/3rd of the characters i still feel have a strong presence (mahito, gojo, todo – u will ALWAYS be famous… and mei mei) allegedly, supposedly, apparently being taken out of the narrative which is TOTALLY something i am having a well-adjusted and normal reaction to, i am FINE! shut up shut up shut up HGRLSOPFHUJWVOBEFBUQUUI!!!?!? ARGGHHH! NBHQYIJHVQJH!!!!?!!! BANGS TABLE BITES WALLS SEETHES IN A VERY UNAFFECTED MANNER ROLLS AROUND THRASHING AND SWEATING fine i am, fine yes yes. FINE!

well, its made me very apprehensive abt how JJK could progress. bc while i think the reintroduction into modern day was done well, i also acknowledge the slippery slope of its shortcomings, and how eliminating such MAJOR players and flavors in the JJKverse can leave a void too wide to be filled. if they can’t keep up the character dynamics and characterizations they have now the show, to me, is doomed, plain and simple.

bc on one hand you have the great mechamaru mahito fight, which actually works MORE bc it wasn’t afraid to be a little camp and tropey and FUN, but then you have yuuji fighting that bug and its like ???? or the toji gojo fight where istg, no limbs touched, not one, no kicks, no weight, no fight mechanics, just hella blur and faith in the lord. like i should not have to wait until the end of the fight to see some IMPACT, some goɾe, some injury, some STAKES.

with the absolute feral levels i get at the intro song (their best one and one of the best i’ve seen in anime tbh, in terms of visuals, aesthetics, music, it just- it makes me SO VIOL3NT, I LOVE IT HBWEVFHWJEFWKF) i want to see these obvious pools of potential realized, i don’t want or even like JJK when its good, i like JJK bc at its core its GREAT, and if they play their cards right we could be looking at one of the best animes of, dare i say all time.

like the villains feel foreboding, they feel ALIVE, they carry weight and i want that for the mains too. so far i’m happy with their handling of the main trio, with the episode dedicated to yuuji’s old crush being genuinely emotional, paced proficiently and ACTUALLY funny, like i’m not saying that the first 3 eps weren’t funny in their own way, but it wasn’t GIVING jujutsu kaisen, at its inception it wasn’t giving JJK with the way the season felt more like a thriller at first, but it was done so well that i wasn’t mad at it, then the levity and relationships came in and were just so underwhelming man. it was literally like being hit by a train tbh.

anyway, i’ve belaboured the point, all i have to say before talking abt the fɑscist in the room is that i was PHYSICALLLY and PERSONALLY pained by the diminishment of the fight scenes. ooooo going from todo yuuji, yuta geto, sukuna megumi, even gojo v that black dude (sorry idk his name and also justice for him that sht was a hate crime fr fr) honestly all the fights in the tournament between the jujutsu schools, to what we got in s2, that hurt me and me specifically and it is only grace from some celestial force that has kept me from doing smth drastic and unethical in retaliation.

anyways, what i feel could’ve capitalized on JJK 2’s strengths from the get go is centring get o (wink wink) and creating more tonal contrast or whiplash / a sense of bubbling foreboding which erupts at the climax of the season half’s finale, it would make everything sm more pronounced and eerie and meaningful, just generally imbuing more nuance into their portrayal could’ve made it LEAGUES better but then geto would have lost all mobile functionality of his spine bc he would’ve crashed under the weight of the show long before he crashed under the weight of his own mind. bro CARRIED.

to the point where he’s such a caricature of a fashie character now and i STILL have immense love for him, he’s like lightside eren jeager — if voldy and eren had a baby it would be geto (and part of the reason why geto works where eren doesn’t is bc they make a point to villainize him and verbalize how fashie his rhetoric is, which HURTS bc i am black and hearing him call humans monkeys has me like i can’t keep defending my maga bf like this, why is my taste in men so flagellatory???!! STAND 👏🏿UP 👏🏿! — only those of a certain hue are allowed to laugh @ that joke i am in ur walls) and while i wished they nuanced him more and factored in how he cared abt amanai into his descent, i also appreciate that that intimacy i was talking abt prior popped up. geto became who he thought he was supposed to be to carry out smth so incongruous to his former ideology and identity, he feels like a caricature bc he IS a caricature, but once the mask slips the softness and purity of his core personality is revealed and its ONLY for gojo, like JEQFBJHBFJQEJ

i don’t even ship sugusoto (like that). they’re both just so great that by brute force i intellectually recognize the excellence of their dynamic, like it just doesn’t make SENSE to not give sugusoto their tens bc of how intertwined within each other they are. like sorry, did not give a singular FAWK abt them before (when i had no familiarity with their material/dynamic) and now they have me crying out of sheer respect no one’s doing it like them.

and what makes empathizing with a character like geto so natural, and produces such a well crafted character in general is his NUANCE, i feel like, similar to eren jeager, you can’t find him endearing or sympathetic in any capacity without first giving significance to, not only the nature of his moral decline, but the inherent complexities of his character. liking geto without acknowledging that he touts rɑce science and plans to genocıde ppl he sees as biologically inferior is a YIKES, you can’t ignore that shite without seeming like a member of a third subsect yourself idk, like its not insignificant, and woobifying an active fɑscıst is existential horror if i’ve ever seen it.

its why aot falls flat for many but JJK excels in that department, bc geto is condemned and for good reason, HOWEVER, i think there was a way we could’ve muddled even the lens through which he’s condemned / the immensity of empathy we feel for him, and that’s bringing amanai into his ideological realignment.

amanai was the source of his moral turn and it feels like a missed opportunity to not have her be more core to its after effects, like HER dyıng is what gets geto so why wouldn’t the weight of her legacy and the purity of her character weigh on him more. the star platinum followers were human yes, but so was amanai, and having geto hyperfocus on one part of the equation when the other is arguably just as significant is a HUGE missed opportunity to say the least. like given his new outlook how does geto FEEL abt someone like amanai now, has he condemned her, and if so, why didn’t we see that more explicitly? like i feel its pretty inevitable that he has, since he sights human weakness and the sacrifice of jujutsu sorcerers for humans as his point of contention, which stems from him being unable to exercise justice against the religious group, but ALSO parallels gojo seemingly dyıng for amanai, someone who put them all in harms way through her ineptitude and the [to geto in retrospect, ultimately] false debt they felt towards her. like at first he idolizes THAT aspect of human innocence but as he sees its consequences does it not make sense that his turn would come from explicitly writing off its source?

OR even more powerfully, being plagued by knowing that good humans exist but valuing people like gojo, who he sees as the real unprotected and collateral of society, more than he values amanai. like in canon he’s so tired of fighting for ppl who underappreciate and can manifest such heinous forms of evil but it would’ve been an elevation to add him being tired of fighting for a shred of goodness that ever since he’s only seen its dark side, he comes to realize is gone anyway, so WHY is he still fighting? the mental fracture that brings and his conveyance of guilt and buried pain could be SO good cause deep down geto could ultimately agree with gojo that human life is precious, but that he can’t stop himself from HATING that, resenting that he can’t see himself or anyone else around him as precious too.

like oooooh would’ve made him best character of all time i fear. like caricature geto serves a purpose, but ANGSTY geto, the ppl were NOT ready! but regardless, i am MORE than happy with the geto we got. More than. i cant even fully articulate the depths i feel geto has and what we could’ve gotten out of him, like bro is the gift that KEEPS ON giving!

anyways, that’s it from me i think. overall i think JJK needs to realize that what made s1 so iconic isn’t bombastic shots or glamorous aesthetics, its all these masterfully conveyed moving parts coming together to create smth better than the sum of its parts. it’s the nitty gritty of character dynamics and characterization and meaningful fights and the mundanities of friendship, it’s the quiet moments which make the big moments so loud! it’s the dialectical nature of the show.

i WANT to trust JJK S2 to stick the landing, the gold is THERE, they just need to dig. and if a hyperfixation of mine goes to shite, well we can all pretend it was a fever dream and continue reading metas on the manga or smth, idk 🤷🏿‍♂️ will continue biting my nails till the very end.

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 141 Rundown

Spy X Family: So it’s time for a little character development for Damian, it’s your standard ‘he’s a later legacy character of an important family and the expectation weighs on him’ nothing special but you do kinda have to give the kid a break given he’s like six years old. Rumor is the kid that does the best in the next dodgeball game gets a Gym Badge and considering progress-wise Anya’s still stuck in Viridian Forest we really need one of those so Yor trains her how to murder a man with a dodgeball because that’ll probably be useful some day. But yeah Anya reads Damian’s mind in class and is able to tell he has layers and shit and also their opponent is legit an adult man, like he’s just some dude and they do treat him like he’s a kid but he has glasses and studies on a computer and the subtitle says he’s six so I don’t know how much of this is a joke and I’m just like ‘excuse me?’ but yeah Damian’s cronies take the hits for him and show they do have legit faith in him even if they’re all assholes. Since Anya can read the dude’s mind she can dodge all the balls but still ends up tripping so Damian has to save her and show he actually does have a heart which is cool even if it doesn’t last long. Anya tries her best to do the manslaying throw Yor taught her but you can tell just by how over-extended the buildup is that it’s not gonna work, like there’s buildup for emphasis and there’s over-buildup for comedy and they made it a bit too obvious but it’s still funny. Anyway the adult man wins but no one gets a Gym Badge because Elegance Dude’s like that’s just a dumb stupid rumor bro, but he is impressed Anya and Damian got along for five seconds even though they immediately start fighting after, but the next episode is legit called ��Stella” so it’s probably not the last we’ve heard of that.

Inuyasha:. The half of the infant Kanna gave Kagura to take care of just like reverse spirit bomb’s the area he’s in and goes into a full naked teenage albino… you know, as you do. Meanwhile Inuyasha and co are still chasing Entei who has tracked down his old master Rengokuki and freed him and he fights with Inuyasha for a bit and he seems kinda strong but it’s clear without Entei Inuyasha would Wind Scar his ass in one hit but he’s still fronting just saying he’s rusty after being sealed. He goes to burn a village down and Kagura’s there getting clothes for Hakudoshi and since she’s pretty hot by demon standards Rengokuki’s like ‘marry me’ and Kagura’s just like ‘look unless you can kill Naraku or have a ten foot penis get the fuck away from me’ but dude’s not having it and chases her down but Hakudoshi interrupts them and I guess he just… found clothes on his own since Kagura never delivered them. Entei’s sick of Rengokuki’s shit and bucks him off so he can fight Hakudoshi and Hakudoshi absolutely wrecks his shit and mount’s Entei like it’s no big deal. Hakudoshi says he’s learned the extent of what killing monks and lying on their chests can teach him about the border to the afterlife so he starts cutting off demon heads to see what they can see of it. He also does his introduction to Inuyasha and because Inuyasha NEVER FUCKING USES THE RED TESSAIGA FOR SOME REASON he’s able to block the Wind Scar with a barrier, like first time I get it, you weren’t expecting a barrier but he sat there and delivered a whole ass monologue and you got ANOTHER Wind Scar off on him only to crash into the barrier again without even trying the Red Tessaiga, get it together dog boy. Anyway Hakudoshi’s a Bond Villain and just straight up tells Inuyasha that he’s trying to get the last jewel shard and flies away, so next week we’re back on filler because clearly that was too much plot development all at once (I actually checked and I only have 25 episodes of the original series left before I transition to Final Act, like that’s still 1-2 normal anime series but being that close to finishing Inuyasha considering it’s the only series still on the block from when I started it years ago is pretty neat)

Yu Yu Hakusho: Yusuke and Sensui are about to start their fight for real for the third time now but Real!Sensui has golden Super Saiyan energy that makes everyone that knows any better shit themselves and he breaks Yusuke’s arm like he’s holding a pair of tweezers to a cotton swab. Apparently this is a super secret technique that takes 40 years to master but Sensui used Naruto’s Shadow Clone Training cheat code to split that down and also you have to be mildly insane enough to want to change the entire world which is why Genkai could never master it because she literally cannot give a fuck, it’s basically “Super Saiyan Well-Intentioned Extremist” with two layers of chosen one protection built in. Yusuke’s still talking shit of course so Sensui blows him and Koenma back and steals the magical barrier pacifier in the process, unlucky for him Koenma reveals it’s a ranged attack and tries to seal him away. Botan goes back to Spirit World to tell Koenma Sr. what’s going on and Shizuru and Keiko see the big explosion when Sensui deflects the barrier and decide to get the hell out of dodge. But yeah Yusuke’s still pretty confident but the others reveal that he’s actually going for a Kamikaze attack, hoping that it’ll either kill Sensui or inspire his friends to flip out enough to kill Sensui on their own like Kuwabara did with Toguro, see this is what happens when you emotionally manipulate your friends into turning into sad super saiyans, they undervalue their recently restored lives and think the only way to get any powerup is to sacrifice somebody.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Yuji and Kento split for their divergent missions of tailing Junpei and infilitrating Mahito’s lair respectfully. Junpei’s still on the warpath to becoming a domestic terrorist while Mahito’s telling him not to worry about having a code for hating people like some sort of anime character but just do whatever your instincts and cravings tell him to and murder anyone he thinks deserves it. This results in him almost killing a teacher before Yuji steps in and defuses the situation by pantsing the guy, a solution beautiful in its elegant simplicity. Meanwhile Kento fights Mahito and Mahito reveals his power is to alter the soul of anybody he touches and since the soul and body are linked that’s how you get cronenberg monsters so he can basically mold flesh into whatever shape he wants, including his own which lets him heal and/or basically become Sun Eater and turn into part animal. Kento hits his eight hour workday time limit and is like “Well since I can’t punch out I’ll just have to punch YOU out motherfucker’ so that’s pretty cool.

Chainsaw Man: Well now that we’ve had a big defeat, it’s training arc time! Denji and Power pay their respects to Aki almost dying and get his pseudo-girlfriend killed by only stealing most of his shit when he wakes up. Denji has a mild existential crisis that he’s not upset at all about Himeno’s death and isn’t entirely sure if it’s because he’s a Devil now or he’s just a maladjusted antisocial asshole but I’m betting on the latter. It’s funny how he says even in the worst case he’d only be upset for three days and then just go back to how he was like he really is just a dog. Makima takes Denji and Power (also sidenote but Denji has started calling Power ‘Powey’ and I’m not sure if it’s a genuine sign of affection or mocking her lack of creativity naming her cat but I am here for it) to train with Himeno’s Master who’s basically Hamish from Hunger Games on crack and his strategy is ‘you guys can’t die so I’m gonna kill you over and over until you suck less’ which… does not seem to be working. Though it does get Power and Denji to try using strategy which works a lot better than I thought it would but still not very well. Meanwhile Aki gets letters from Himeno’s sister that Himeno sent her and sees how they gradually start talking about him more and more and it kinda hits him how worried she was about him and now he can’t use his Fox Devil or his Curse Devil powers because he’s run out of shit worth giving them for them to put up with his shit so the HQ guys take him to Public Safety’s very own SCP facility to make a new contract with the Future Devil, ironic considering he only has two years to live and basically nothing to give.

Ranking of Kings: Bojji;s training is finally complete and we get to see his weapon of choice and it’s… a rapier! Honestly that made me smile when I saw it because that jus makes perfect sense for him and the silly big sheathe they gave him for it is really cute. Kage’s not entirely sure about this but Despa tells Bojji to have faith in himself and that his best friend should have faith in him too. They go out to eat to celebrate and get into a bar fight with three troll brothers and Bojji takes them out with pressure point attacks that are designed to disorient and knock people out but can kill too apparently if it calls for it. Now if you’re a cynical asshole like me you expect this all to be a trick by Despa to at best boost Bojji’s confidence with some actors throwing a fight or at worst trying to rip Bojji off by giving him fake training and pretending it worked so he can make off with the money. But turns out this series is not so cynical and the fight WAS a set up by Despa but it was also quite real and Bojji did really beat them on his own. Also apparently there’s a super secret technique Bojji still has tucked under his vest that Despa hopes he won’t have to use too often. Kage talks to Bojji about how the giant snake dude taught him to dodge and shit in a way Abridged!Piccolo would be proud of but also since snake and snake dude are connected then Snake Dude may have been right about the kingdom being under some kind of conspiracy and in danger. Kage asks if Bojji wants to go back home to help and I think it kinda hits for the first time for Bojji that somebody he loves tried to have him killed and he’s not entirely sure who. Kage straight-up asks if he thinks Hilling tried to murder him and the thought breaks Bojji but Kage remembers his own mom and seeing Hilling literally throw herself off a cliff for Bojji and knows it can’t be the case and berates Bojji and himself for even thinking such a thing. Bojji beats some sense into himself and agrees that he’s gonna go back home. Meanwhile some knight dude’s in jail eatin rats idk.

Vinland Saga: With most of the Danish army retreated, Thorkell’s bridge is at a standstill with Prince Canute being a devout Christian and unlike 99% of Christians throughout history he takes that ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ and ‘Do onto others’ shit seriously and doesn’t want to fight so they’re basically biding time until his dad tells him to go home. Meanwhile Thorfinn’s having a minor existential crisis in his dreams where he’s at home with his family but he’s also in England instead of Iceland and his dad’s like “Your mom and sister miss you, bro is murder and pillaging the way you want to spend your life, I don’t give a crap if you avenge me’ and Thorfinn immediately wakes up and forgets his father’s wishes like he presumably has for the past five or so years. Askeladd’s men are just kinda pillaging random small English towns and getting kinda rammy, like they kinda lost motivation to follow the main force and got distracted with random pillaging because they’re a bunch of dumbasses that don’t like taking orders but that’s what happens when your army’s like 40% pirates. Thorfinn finds Askeladd and tells him off for treating him like he’s just another crewmember when he’s actively trying to kill him and Askeladd’s just like ‘cool story bro’ and then proceeds to talk about how he’s getting old and how even great civilizations get old and die like the Romans and how Ragnarok is coming and the rise and fall of things is the way of change. They get visited by a messenger from Canute’s army who apparently were wiped out by Thorkell and  Canute was taken hostage and Thorkell’s on a mission with 500 of his best men to go charge the main force because if a good fight’s not gonna find him then god damn he’s gonna find it. So the messenger’s calling up everyone he meets to come fight Thorkell’s legion and make a charge to save the Prince. So of course Askeladd fucking beheads the guy and tells his men they’re gonna run into a battle where they’re outnumber five to one and take the Prince for ransom themselves and make a buttload of money for whichever side wants him more. Kind of an insane plan but Askeladd is really determined to not go gentle into that good night.

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

[anthonyravencrow]

No disbarment au

Elaborating on no disbarment au because you guys seem to like the idea.

If you hadn't notice this contains major spoilers for AJ so you might want to skip this one if you haven't completed it.

I came up with it because I don't like sad time skips when the character is fine and then we come back few years later to see that their life was awful when we weren't looking. So Phoenix's life is a bit happier in this. :)

It's gonna be a long post so I'm putting rest under the cut

So back to the au

The starting difference from canon is that Zak Gramarye pulls his dissapearing act earlier so Phoenix doesn't have a chance to present forged evidence.

He doesn't get disbared but his reputation still sufferes becasuse of it and from this moment other attorneys start to consider him as kinda corrupted and theorize that he helped his client dissapear because he knew that he was loosing.

Because Zak is gone Phoenix still decides to adopt Trucy. <333 She still practices her magic acts but she also gets to be Phoenix's co-counsel (we all wanted this to happen)

So Phoenix doesn't have a good reputation but he still gets some cases and he's happy with his daughter

On the other hand Kristoph is pissed. He flunked all that money for nothing. He decides to keep a close eye on Phoenix as he plans revenge.

I really liked his character and his weird "friendship" with Phoenix in the game and I was kinda dissapointed that we've seen him in only two cases. Also Klavier deserves to have more scenes with him too.

So Phoenix still hangs out with Kristoph so he can financialy support Trucy and her magic hobby as a lawyer. But he's careful and tries to keep her away from Kristoph.

In this au Kristoph is more involved. He still becomes "friends" with Phoenix and he seems to be an only attorney around who trusts him after the Gramarye trial. It's still weird between them though and Phoenix senses that Kristoph is up to no good but he needs his support in court and Kristoph also helps him to actually get some cases and clients.

Phoenix still is a very good lawyer but he now has more obstacles to get through in court so he gets a little more jaded and has to always keep a few tricks up his sleeve. He kinda acts like Edgeworth in his demon prosecutor days.

Now enters Apollo - he's the main character in all of this <3

He starts working at Gavin's law office. He often sees Phoenix there because of his relationship with Kristoph. At this point Apollo already heard some rumors about Phoenix and his questionable cases, also Kristoph is really passive-agressive about him to the point where Apollo wonders why these two are still friends.

So Phoenix gets to be all ambiguous and mysterious as Apollo tries to form his opinion on him.

At some point Trucy in typical girl assistant fashion gets involved in a murder case she's a suspect and gets arrested. Phoenix doesn't have a good opinion in court and he doesn't want that to ruin his chances to prove his daughter's innocence. He also doesn't trust Kristoph with this at all. So Phoenix decides to request Apollos help.

Apollo agrees :). If it was a game this would be the first trial so Payne would be a prosecutor in this. Apollo with little help and pep-talk from Phoenix during recess obviously wins :)

Aftter that he hangs out around Wirght law offices more often and he gets to develop a friendship with Trucy. He also gets to talk to Phoenix and is really impressed by his previous cases. He tries to ask about what happened to his reputation but doesn't get obvious answers. Phoenix still is ambiguous and throws some off-hand comments about Kristoph from time to time.

So now Apollo is kinda thorn between two lawyers who constantly trash-talk each other. Except Kristoph is more ominous about this.

When Apollo is around Wright's office, Phoenix points his attention to cases he doesn't want to take because of his reputation so Apollo agrees to help and takes them himself.

And Trucy gets to be his assistant. <333

During this Apollo talks with his mentor Kristoph from time to time and also gets some helpful advices from him.

I'd like to see more of their relationship and more of Kristop being a mentor to Apollo. I think it would be cool and interesting to see this other side of him. The side which seems to be kind and understanding, the reason why Apollo has his opinions in good regard.

So Kristoph tries to act all supportive about Apollo taking cases from Wright but he lets Apollo notice that he's not too happy about it. Kristoph is this kind of ominous presence during those "filler" cases and he says things about Phoenix that make Apollo doubt him a little.

Also Klavier's here. He's a prosecutor in Apollo's cases. And he's just as sweet as in canon.

Apollo at first is suprised to learn that Kristoph even has a brother because Kristoph didn't even mention him much to Apollo. Apollo also gets to see Klavier when he goes to talk with Kristop. So we can see more of Klavier's relationship with his brother.

Klavier If asked, I think would say some nice stuff about his bro and he kinda looks up to him a litte as an attorney. Kristop on the other hand, not so much. He ridicules Klavier's rock star persona when Apollo talks to him about his bro.

Ema is still a detective in this. <333. Because Phoenix didn't get disbared she got to work on some cases with him in the past <33

She's nicer to Klavier because he didn't ruin her friend's career in this. But they constantly get into a playful banter. She also knows Trucy really well because of her being Phoenix's co-counsel in the past cases.

Ema is great and she seems happier in this even thou she didn't want to be detective that much.

Now I'm getting closer to the finish line.

For the last case I envision something similar to Turnabout Goodbyes and Rise from the ashes.

OH NO! Phoenix get's framed for murder! I think Drew Misham would be a good victim in this to tie this nicely to the Zak Gramarye case.

Obviously Kristoph's behind all of this and Phoenix knows this. But he still remains ambiguous and doesn't tell the whole truth about his involvement. Kristoph is free to walk around and is very dangerous so Phoenix worries about Trucy's safety and doesn't want her to get involved in this. He is very careful about what he reveals to Apollo so he doesn't get Kristoph's attention. He is worried what Kristoph might do to Trucy if he puts to much focus on him.

So Apollo and Phoenix's friends try to save him. Apollo does really in depth research and he slowly finds out the truth behind this case and also the Gramarye case and unused forged evidence.

As he's closer to the truth he starts to suspect Kristoph more and more. It's really hard for him to accept because Kristoph was always a good mentor to him. During all of this he still talks with Kristoph who with every conversation seems more and more ominous.

Klavier was chosen as a prosecutor for this trial. He and Apollo face in court but Klavier was also present during investigation parts so he's also torn about his brothers presence in all of this.

Finally everything gets revealed. They confron't Kristoph in court. Apollo wins, Kristoph gets arrested and Phoenix is declared innocent. His reputation is also cleared beacuse everyone found out about what really happened behind the scenes of the Gramarye trial.

Apollo and Klavier are also happy but they both have mixed feelings about Kristoph. He was Apollo's mentor and Klavier's brother. They both held him in high regard and are both shocked that he was able to do something like this. They need some time to deal with it but they have each other and together they are going to work through this. (Yeah, Klapollo <3)

So everyone gets together. Apollo continues working as a lawyer under Phoenix with Trucy often accompanying him as his co-counsel.

And that is the end!

I'd like to thank @digitalstowaway because your response motivated me to write this down. <3

[queenlua]

Ace Attorney case tier list

so, in the past year, i finished replaying games 1 through 5 for the first time in forever, and also played game 6 for the first time ever

so here’s where i ruthlessly rank each of the cases based on that most scientific metric of all, My Opinions:

OPENING CASES

S-tier: Turnabout Trump (4-1).  I already knew this case, and I still gasped with surprise when Phoenix showed up, and when Kristoph showed his true colors, and when Apollo realized OH SHIT OH FUCK I REALLY AM ACCUSING MY BOSS OF MURDER HUH... what a wonderful, splashy, shockingly concise case to open up the post-O.G. trilogy world.  Marvelous.

A-tier: Turnabout Memories (3-1).  Seeing Mia Fey (finally!) in action is a long-awaited delight; seeing Phoenix being a total dumbass was an unexpected-yet-perfect and fitting delight.

B-tier: The First Turnabout (1-1).  Solid lil’ case with some conventional-but-well-executed humor.  I’ve got a soft spot for Larry Butz.

C-tier: The Lost Turnabout (2-1), The Foreign Turnabout (6-1).  The former’s fine but a little forgettable; the latter has some fun gags (Payne’s ridiculous new outfit, dude absolutely shredding on the mandolin, etc) but is marred by how uh... kinda silly the game’s core conceit is, lol

E-tier: Turnabout Countdown (5-1).  The context surrounding this introduction is just sloppy (badly handled in media res + let’s lowkey retcon game 4 isn’t a great setup), and also the case itself is just. irksome. ted tonate is just fundamentally irritating to look at

FINALE CASES

S-tier: Bridge to the Turnabout (3-5), Turnabout Goodbyes (1-4).  No explanation needed.  God they fuck so hard

A-tier: The Cosmic Turnabout + Turnabout for Tomorrow (5-4 + 5-5), Turnabout Succession (4-4).

The former two cases are what makes AA5 worth it, and they make for a tremendously fun ride.  It fumbles the execution in some notable ways (Apollo’s sudden j’accuse moment feels a little forced/awkward/inadequately foreshadowed, and damn it sure would’ve been nice to know Clay Terran at all before he died, and also The Phantom’s final meltdown could’ve used a bit more emotional heft)... but okay let’s be real, I’m here for Simon Blackquill, and this case gives me so much of him so who gives a shit.  (And Aura!  Condescending obnoxious engineering queen!  I love her!)  

As for Turnabout Succession... while I earnestly wish the game had explored more of Klavier’s feelings about this whole setup, and some more emotional beats for Apollo, the case still makes for such a satisfyingly twisty and fun investigation overall (the poison stamp! what a ridiculous murder method! I love it!) that it’s a more-than-worthy finale.

B-tier: Turnabout Revolution (6-5), Farewell, My Turnabout (2-4).

The former does some cool stuff—I particularly like the opening half, where Apollo’s being real snippy and coping with Frankly Bizarre Dad Feelings, and giving Apollo a chance to finally throw down against Phoenix is a blast.  The latter half of the case starts feeling a little... ridiculous? cramped? idk? like, they didn’t do nearly enough foreshadowing about Nahyuta’s whole deal for me to care about his drama, this justice system is so obviously silly and the manner in which the revolution is playing out strains my already-suspended-sky-high disbelief... fun, and flashy, but more noise than signal in the last part, I guess.

As for Farewell, My Turnabout: of course I love Edgeworth rolling back into court goin’ through SOME kind of bizarre emotional arc of Hey I’m Totally Healed Now and obnoxiously preaching about Truth TM.  And it’s cool that the game set up a case where you want to lose.  But the net result is a bit strange tonally—it’s trying set up some kind of message about It’s Not Just About Winning, It’s About Pursuing The Truth, but it feels really muddled when that’s combined with Okay But Maya’s Literally Being Held Hostage Like Right Now, Surely A Reasonable Justice System Has A Process For Dealing With This Obviously Complicated Situation, Right?

but also Franziska takes a fucking bullet (how did I forget about that) and then gets to roll in like Ms. Save The Day so, really, lots of good shit here

FILLER CASES

S-tier: Reunion, and Turnabout (2-2), Turnabout Beginnings (3-4).  Look, the first one gives me all the Fey family drama a girl could ask for, and the latter gives me young Edgeworth being a total shit in an obnoxiously shimmery outfit.  The whole enchilada is here

A+ tier: The Magical Turnabout (6-2).  DELIGHTFUL!  MAGICIAN!  SHENANIGANS!  Like you get to guess the trick behind a magic act as part of the case, how fucking fun is that, and also the Apollo & Athena duo’s chemistry is perfect, the villain is a FANTASTIC bastard, and even the bit characters you meet during the investigation are total delights... Probably the best “standalone” case in the series, in that it doesn’t rely on any emotional connections to previous cases (unlike 2-2 and 3-4) to still totally and completely rule.

A tier: Turnabout Samurai (1-3), Turnabout Reclaimed (5-DLC).

For Turnabout Samurai, I remembered before this replay how delightful the TV SHOW STUDIO investigation and actor-fandom stuff was; I had TOTALLY forgotten Vasquez calling in her mob connections to try and wreck you.  What a fantastic villain; what a fun case.

Turnabout Reclaimed is just good solid goofy nonsense.  Probably receives a boost for me in particular because, yeah, Simon Blackquill.  But then again who isn’t giving cases a boost on that account; they are MISSING OUT

B tier: The Stolen Turnabout (3-2).  Ron and Desirée are so great sighs into hands

C tier: Listing roughly in order of preference: Turnabout Academy (5-3), Turnabout Serenade (4-3), Turnabout Sisters (1-2), Recipe for a Turnabout (3-3), Rite of the Turnabout (6-3), Rise from the Ashes (1-5).

Four of these (5-3, 4-3, 1-2, 3-3) are perfectly solid cases; I just don’t love them quite as much as “thievery hijinks” or “Hollywood hijinks” or other such particularly delightful flavors.  Everyone has a favorite flavor of Jolly Rancher and all that.

Rite of the Turnabout is interesting and connected with the larger themes of the game in a cool way, and makes good use of the divination mechanic.  However, the last bit gets twisty enough to actually be kind of confusing, and said larger themes of the game are... kinda hard for me to take seriously... which, yeah, leads to it feeling a little stilted when it really should be singing.

Rise from the Ashes landed awkwardly for me.  I know it was added well after the first game’s release, and it does a good job of continuing some of the cool stuff from that game—it’s neat, in isolation, to see Phoenix and Edgeworth working together (while still sniping at each other!), and some of the DS-specific mechanics are neat.  However, I just didn’t feel like I learned quite enough about Ema and Lana to care about them like I should, and retconning “(almost certainly true) rumors that Edgeworth was involved in Shady Shit TM” into “actually Edgeworth was totally ignorant of Shady Shit TM, like at worst his crime was willful ignorance / incuriosity, he was just been manipulated by the Police Chief”... makes Edgeworth less interesting to me!  Like, it’s cool to see Edgeworth caught off-guard and under pressure, but I wish the circumstances had been different?  Also Gant’s theme song is annoying as shit, which is petty but hey this is my blog post so

D tier: Turnabout Storyteller (6-4), Turnabout Corner (4-2), Turnabout Big Top (2-3), The Monstrous Turnabout (5-2).

Turnabout Storyteller has some fun gags with My Dude Simon and also Taka, but was heavily marred by Everyone Talking Down To Athena The Entire Fucking Case Oh My God Can You All Just Shut Up.

Turnabout Corner has... lots of fun elements but... look the fucking stolen-panties setup just grates ok

I don’t think I hate Turnabout Big Top the way most people seem to, but I did find the final murder setup more annoying that I remembered this playthrough—bro you were really sure the dude was going to conveniently stand right there and the heavy statue was definitely going to strike a killing blow and not just give the guy a concussion?  ok lol

The Monstrous Turnabout suffers mostly from poor puzzle/investigation design, being too hand-hold-y, and also having a core gimmick/setting that just wasn’t really my thing.  Alas!

[kuinliekkienroihu]

I (crysuzumushi, haha) am working on answering your ask game prompts, you picked two of my very favorites, thank you! I'm gonna ask you to do Kaname too! And Byakuya.

Okay, thanks for the ask!! Sorry it took so long to answer, i wrote a novel. Also sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language

Kaname:

1. Favorite thing about them

How he always seeks to act according to his sense of justice. Also he's one of the best written characters in the entire series. He's very complex, which makes him feel kinda like an actual person with understandable actions caused by his past. There are a lot more things, but i'm not good at putting things to words so yeah.

2. Least favorite thing about them

How underutilized he was as a character. I'm really glad there's more of him in cfyow, even though i've only read the first part

3. Favorite line

" I follow the path least soaked in blood. The path I walk is justice."

4. BrOTP

I have many, mostly Shuhei, Aizen, Gin and Sajin

5. OTP

-

6. NOTP

hmm, i don't like him and Aizen romantically at all, same goes for Sajin

7. Random headcanon

He has a plant garden in Las Noches in which he grows, among many other things, the ingredients for Aizen's tea, which is Kaname's secret special mix of herbs. Aizen really misses the tea Kaname made for him.

8. Unpopular opinion

He did nothing wrong, or rather, all he did was (more or less) justified

9. Song i associate with them

-

10. Favorite picture of them

This is my favorite too

Byakuya:

1. Favorite thing about them

Yes. I love every single thing about him. Even the things others would consider as flaws are perfect. I really like how calm and collected he is regardless of the situation, he's intelligent and calculating.

A very well written character with, in my opinion, the best character development. Especially his relationship with Rukia from ignoring her out of pain (since she looks almost identical to Hisana), protecting her to keep a promise, letting her be executed to keep another promise to genuinely caring about her and saving her life in many occasions, clearly regretting what he did to her and trying to compensate for his actions.

Kubo wrote his development extremely well, in the end of the series he's objectively a better person than in the beginning, but his personality didn't change much. He's still the same overly serious, stuck up asshole we know and I love him for it.

Another thing I love the most about him is the fact that he's another walking contradiction. But somehow, these contradictions make a paradox or a perfect harmony without cancelling each other. Kubo did an amazing job making him have many layers in his character. There's this line from a book (had to look it up, the book is called "the chrysanthemum and the sword") that the author used to describe Japanese people, I think I read that in someone's ig story and it got stuck in my head since it reminded me of Byakuya so much, and in my honest opinion, describes him rather thoroughly, especially second, third and fourth ones. His zanpakuto, which is one of the infinite reasons I love him, being fully portrayed by the second one "both militaristic and aesthetic" being combined into the beautiful but deadly weapon Senbonzakura is.

"both aggressive and unaggressive, both militaristic and aesthetic, both insolent and polite, rigid and adaptable, submissive and resentful of being pushed around, loyal and treacherous, brave and timid, conservative and hospitable to new ways"

When you think about it, he has the most fitting zanpakuto for his personality compared to the other shinigami and the way he uses it is one of the tiny details which make him, him.

His spot as a captain and the head of the Kuchiki clan is in my opinion fully earned (rest of the nobles (except Yoruichi) can go fuck themselves) (sorry Tara, ignore this please lol). He is hardworking and precise, almost workaholic, has trained hard from a very young age and puts duty above everything. But he still has a hidden "work mode: off" -side which we see occasionally as cracking a dry joke or the wakame taishi fuckery in general. Latter being, in my honest thoughts, hilarious and adorable.

There is a lot more but i literally can't list everything. This is already a hell of an essay.

2. Least favorite thing about them.

My answer is probably as you can expect: none.

There is one thing i don't really like, but it's about the writing.

!!TYBW SPOILERS!!

In the beginning of the arc i think that immediately releasing bankai, especially when he knew it was gonna be sealed, was out of character and i would have been very upset if he stayed dead, since the action which resulted in that was not something he would do.

3. Favorite line

“If it’s for the sake of my pride there’s nothing I won’t destroy.”

I know it’s from a filler but this line just sums his whole character, personality and motivations up so well.

4. BrOTP

I have so many, i want him to have friends lol. But to point out the most significant ones i'd say Rukia, Renji, Kenpachi, Toshiro and Ichigo

5. OTP

The only one i really ship him with is Nanao. Hisana is kind of “it’s canon and i’m fine with it.” I haven’t seen enough of her to form an opinion about the ship, but it’s obvious how much Bya loved her and it’s so sweet.

6. NOTP

Okay, i have never mentioned this before since i know many of my followers/mutuals ship them. Renji. The only ship I. Can't. Stand.

Like, platonically? Yes, they're bros. But romantically or especially sexually? No. Fuck no.

I don't care if you ship them, good for you, but please tag the stuff so it gets filtered.

7. Random headcanon

He sleeptalks a lot. And it's not mumbling, he talks the same way as when he's awake but it's absolute nonsense.

Byakuya, asleep: Do not eat the drawer.

Hisana, awake: *watches him in utter confusion*

Byakuya, still asleep: Give him a pink tricycle.

Hisana: To whom?

Byakuya: Head captain Yamamoto

Hisana: *trying not to laugh*

Another hc that i have is that he is a closet metalhead and likes especially power- and symphonic metal (this might sound very weird if you know nothing about this kind of music lol)

8. Unpopular opinion

His actions in the soul society arc were understandable. He was put between the bark and the tree (i hope you get what i mean) and had to choose from just letting things happen and going against central 46 and all of soul society (or at least that’s what he thought). Also the line he said to Ukitake, which is still easily in top5 most asshole things he has said/done, in my opinion shows what he thought of Rukia’s execution and why he didn’t do anything to prevent it. “Once you’ve let one of your people die.. ...two or three more make no difference.” Both of his parents are dead, Hisana is dead, Ginrei is most likely dead and he thought for 100 years that Yoruichi was dead too. I think Byakuya thought losing one more person he cares about couldn’t hurt more than it already has and therefore didn’t think it was worth breaking the promise he made in his parents’ grave and trying to save her. And that fucking breaks my heart.

9. Song I associate with them

I have a 6h long playlist which I’m not gonna post. Can’t choose just one lol.

10. Favorite picture of them

*digs through nearly infinite pinterest board, tumblr and phone’s gallery*

This is (one of) my favorite manga panel(s) of him. I love how calm but powerful he looks. The lines representing the heavy spiritual pressure. Like an inescapable doom approaching (which indeed was the case). And for some reason i love it. 

My favorite fanart, which i obviously can’t post since you can’t post others art so here’s the link: https://www.deviantart.com/keelerleah/art/Bleach-Byakuya-Looking-Back-127254804

and then one which I think is official art or at least an edit of it, if I’m wrong please lmk

[cto10121]

Mercutio and Romeo’s Battle of Wits: Or, the Mercutio-Romeo-Benvolio brOTP

Or, Mercutio Misses Romeo Something Fierce As His Main Bro Because Romeo Is Not A Whiny Wimpy Stick-In-the-Mud and Is Actually Very Fun To Be Around and Benvolio Is Good and All, but He’s Just Not The Same(tm), You Know?

So the first half of Act 2, Scene 4, when Mercutio and Romeo have a game of wits before the Nurse enters gets cut or abridged a lot, for obvious reasons. The double entendres and witty Elizabethan wordplay are very difficult for even great actors to convey them to an audience, and they don’t seem to serve a narrative or thematic function apart from “two bros just being bros!!!” That bit of the scene just feels like filler safely cut or abridged in order to jump to the Nurse’s entrance and thus the plot. R&J the play, after all, is long; the whole play done completely is usually touching three hours. Cuts are always necessary, and for the most part it’s justifiable.

But I’m not going to lie, I like this bit a lot. Always have. Not only do we get Mercutio’s attitude toward Tybalt and his growing concern over Romeo’s love doldrums, but we get another side of Romeo hitherto unknown to us: Romeo being witty and fun and actually roasting Mercutio good, even besting him in a game of wits. And Mercutio actually being happy about it and just surrendering the battle to Romeo (!!!) What is this cinnamon roll of an exchange, too pure for this world, doing in an otherwise heavy tragedy? Are Romeo and Mercutio out of character just for some punny times? Not at all! The punny times are entirely necessary narrative and thematic-wise, sets up the tragedy, and shows needed nuance and dimension to both characters and the Montacrew in general.

Where the Fuck Is Romeo Seriously, I’m Getting Kinda Worried

So we begin the scene with Mercutio right away wanting to know where Romeo is:

Mercutio. Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?

Benvolio. Not to his father’s, I spoke with his man.

Mercutio. Why, that same pale, hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.

It’s really hard not to read even a little bit of concern in that first question past the bluster, but in case you missed it, Shakespeare makes it explicit by having Mercutio blame Rosaline and worrying that Romeo’s love for her is driving him crazy. Once again, we get the sense that Romeo was not really himself pre-Juliet, and that, according to Mercutio, this is something to be concerned about.

We then segue into news that Tybalt has challenged Romeo via letter. Benvolio expresses confidence that Romeo would fight him, but Mercutio has doubts:

Mercutio. Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead! Stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow boy’s butt shaft—and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?

Once again Mercutio switches to troll mode and characterizes Romeo’s love angst over Rosaline as him “being dead” (“the ape is dead!”)—which would be dramatic, to say the least, except that the tone is humorous/satiric. But it does betray an anxiety on Mercutio’s part and gives the understanding that whatever Romeo’s infatuation with Rosaline was, it was not “typically” Romeo, at least according to Mercutio and by implication Benvolio, since he doesn’t challenge it. When Romeo finally enters, Mercutio continues his satiric portrait:

Benvolio. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

Mercutio. Without his roe, like a dry herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified!

We get it, we get it, Romeo has turned a lameass pussy by ~love. But unbeknownst to Mercutio but knownst to us, Romeo is not the same guy of previous acts. How will Julietsimplord!Romeo react to Mercutio? This is going to be good.

Mah Bruh is Back and He’s…Fucking Roasting Me?

So we get the first encounter.

Mercutio. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s some French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo. Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio. The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?

Romeo’s greeting is polite, open, but unconcerned, perhaps a bit breezy, perhaps humoring. Notice how Romeo before has given Mercutio a ton of slack for his satiric mocking—his only critical comment so far in the play is “He jests at scars that never felt a wound,” which can read almost as dismissive (this in contrast to Benvolio’s worry that Mercutio would anger Romeo by talking about Rosaline lewdly). Either way, he responds to Mercutio’s acerbic queries about him ditching them straightforwardly and without heat.

Romeo. Pardon me, good Mercutio. My business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio. That’s as much to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.

Notice how Mercutio doesn’t ask Romeo directly about what his business was, but rather assumes that it was sexual (“bow in the hams,” to flex his butt cheeks). Again, typical of Mercutio, but it does justify a little why Romeo, at this point in the story, does not immediately tell Mercutio and Benvolio about Juliet. And also why he says this instead:

Romeo. Meaning, to curtsy.

Mercutio. Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo is 100% trolling here, doing a Mercutio, in fact by pretending to take another meaning—oh, yeah, you obviously mean curtsying, right???? This marks the first reply in which he doesn’t answer openly, but instead answers slyly. Mercutio answers accordingly with an equally troll-y, “Oh yeah, that’s definitely what I meant, super PG” *snort*

Romeo. A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio. Nay, I’m the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo. Pink for flower.

Mercutio. Right.

Romeo. Why, then is my pump well flowered.

My Burton Raffel edition, infuriatingly enough, only gives one definition of “pump” as shoe, but make no mistake—Romeo also obviously means “dick” (the pump, I think, being the “head” part of the shoe, and thus….you get the idea). Mercutio is immediately excited—Romeo is speaking his language now.

Mercutio. Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou had worn out thy pump, that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.

Romeo. O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!

Mercutio. Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint.

Romeo. Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I cry a match.

Mercutio. Nay, if our wits run the wild goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five.

Barely does the game of wits begin when Mercutio seems to give up, and now Romeo is the one urging him playfully to keep going or else *he* wins. Mercutio could just be joking about needing to be “rescued” by Benvolio, but he does say explicitly that nah, Romeo is just too witty today to continue to “chase” the joke, or the goose (“wild goose chase” eventually became a cliché all on its own, and it’s really just a throwaway line).

And now for my absolute favorite Romeo retort:

Mercutio. Was I ever with you there for the goose?

Romeo. Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose.

“Was I ever with you for the game?” “Bitch, you weren’t with me for anything but the pussy!!!!!” “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

Mercutio. I will bite thee in the ear for that jest.

Romeo. Nay, good goose, bite not.

“I’ll fucking jump you for that” “A pussy jump on me??? Oh no, I’m ~scared” 🤣

Mercutio. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.

Romeo. And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?

“Your game has some spice, bro” “Like the spice they’ll put on you after cooking your ass????” 🤣

Mercutio. O here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell narrow to an ell broad.

Romeo. I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

“You’re stretching that joke so damn much it’s going to break” “As much as I’ll stretch your stupid ass out because you’re the joke, bro!!!!!!” 🤣

And then comes the end of the game of wits with the final twist:

Mercutio. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.

“Jokes on you, bro, I’m into that shit!!! (Seriously, though, glad you’re back, bro, omfg, finally)”

Conclusions

So now for some wrap-up:

Mercutio in the beginning of the scene thinks the Romeo he knew is lost or “dead” by love. This has been established before in the after the ball scene, but here it is explicit—The Romeo he knows is gone and replaced by a pussy all over Rosaline’s pussy. Not good. There is also more than a trace of concern and worry—Mercutio is the one who asks for Romeo, and not Benvolio, the guy’s own cousin.

Mercutio is not upset by Romeo beating him at the game of wits and in fact gives in rather too easily. It’s not too clear why Mercutio does this. Mercutio has been established as a witty, satiric character. Romeo is as verbally dexterous as he is, if not more so, but his wit is warm and expressive, not satiric. His roasts and shade are playful and good-natured for the most part. By all accounts, Mercutio should have won the skirmish. It could be that he is too happy with Romeo actually making witty puns to care about winning, but personally I think Mercutio would be too proud of his verbal acrobatics, to concede that easily and make himself a willing target for Romeo’s roast (especially since he has roasted Romeo so damn hard these past scenes). It’s not like Mercutio to go easy on Romeo or even anyone, as he proves with his roasting Tybalt and even ragging on Benvolio. It could be Shakespeare is slyly characterizing Mercutio as a character who can give it out, but not take it, hence his backing down so easily, (“Okay, okay, you win!”) but usually that type of character responds with impatience and even anger. Mercutio’s replies are too amused for that. Perhaps he was too surprised by Romeo suddenly taking a page out of his book after scenes of him just angsting—to his perspective, but not ours, this does seem to come out of nowhere. But his replies don’t sound like someone who is surprised at all by this show of wit by a good-natured friend—on the contrary, it is taken as proof that the friend is back.

By the end of the exchange, Mercutio believes Romeo is more himself again. Not entirely, as he does cast further shade on his infatuation with Rosaline, but he is genuinely glad to see Romeo act more like himself again. We are once again reinforced with the notion that the mopey Romeo with Rosaline and even the radiantly lovestruck Romeo with Juliet is not the Romeo his friends have known. We receive proof of this: Romeo can and will throw shade over you for a song.

Not going to lie: I am here for all of this.

So I think it’s fair to conclude, based on the above information, that Mercutio has missed Romeo, perhaps something awful. His constant ragging on him for Rosaline and being mopey (lovers aren’t even supposed to be sad, wtf man) and his asking for him and just generally talking almost exclusively about him (that could just be his supporting character role, though) supports that. His joy at Romeo roasting him also characterizes a key component of their friendship and dynamic hitherto missing or not as present: Jokes, teasing, puns, wordplay, outright roasting when called for.

Not only is bro bonhomie clearly established (brohomie!), but also the macho culture—this exchange is far from locker room talk, more focused on wordplay than crude expression, but it does set up the dynamics of the duel scene and Mercutio’s motivations. Mercutio is most happy when Romeo performs masculinity through puns, wordplay, and roasting; when he doesn’t, or refuses to take stand in the defense of his honor, that’s when Mercutio gets frazzled. This is not because he believes Romeo is inherently a wimp—far from it, as he clearly expects Romeo, once he seems unstuck from the quagmire that is Rosaline, to duel Tybalt. He is unsurprised when Romeo throws shade on him right back, and is even pleased. So it’s shocking and disturbing for him when Romeo refuses to step up as he had done in previous scenes to fight the likes of Tybalt, for seemingly no good reason.

On a related note, expectation is noticeably absent in Mercutio’s own dynamic with Benvolio, whom he sees as helper and abettor of his wit and decisions, a soundboard, and a quasi-sidekick (“come, shall we go?” “Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint” “Help me into some house, Benvolio, / Or I shall faint”). When he does rag on Benvolio for his supposed sword-happy temper, Benvolio does not rise to his bait or roast him back, but gives only mildly amused replies, if gently pointed, to Mercutio’s surly displeasure.

Benvolio. An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man should buy the fee simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.

Mercutio. The fee simple? O simple!

Mercutio may want to fight someone badly enough to go after Benvolio, but he also wants a challenge, the excitement of a back-and-forth of wits—hell, even for someone to tell him he is full of shit if so he could hit back. Perhaps that’s what Mercutio needs and perhaps secretly desires: Someone to roast him and tell him to shut the fuck up every once in a while. But would Romeo do this?

Nurse. I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?

Romeo. A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk and will speak more in a minute than he would stand to in a month.

The answer is yes. Yes, he would.

R&J Adaptations’ Weirdness with This Exchange

So why the difficulty retaining this fun exchange? Well, Romeo talking about well-flowered pumps and Mercutio just happily taking his roasts goes against the usual romantic!Romeo and charismatictroll!Mercutio characterization of earlier scenes. Even in adaptations that do keep this part of the scene, they tend either to brush it by (Baz Lurhmann) or even mischaracterize it a bit to keep it consistent with the interpretation of the characters as established (Zeffirelli). McEnery’s Mercutio in the Zeffirelli is in control and dominant all of the way through, and one of his lines (“Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce”) is given to Romeo instead. The Baz Lurhmann plays it only broadly in terms of group male camaraderie and not so much Mercutio-Romeo dynamics; Benvolio does not participate in the game of wits and is by all accounts just vibing (my personal troll headcanon is he is keeping track of the game of wits on a slate. 2 Romeo, 1 Mercutio, that sort of thing).

Also, perhaps due to Mercutio being on Romeo’s case for most of the play and his being a lil’ shit at points, some adaptations take a weird Ho Yay approach to the dynamic, especially productions that make Mercutio gay or queer. If so, then productions have to do a lot of heavy lifting to interpret Mercutio’s gleeful/amused roasting of Romeo, his lewd blazon of Rosaline, and his anger at Romeo’s loss of honor in refusing to fight Tybalt as signs of romantic love towards Romeo. Romeo’s own emotional independence from his friends and his willingness to roast Mercutio also works against this interpretation. Thus another reason why this exchange is often cut or abridged (although the Globe Theater just decided to go ahead and have Mercutio roll all over Romeo while Romeo is roasting him as a shameless pussy chaser in this scene, because of course that makes perfect sense. Is it any wonder why I don’t like most R&J productions and adaptations?).

The only adaptation I know that gets the camaraderie and dynamics even close to right is the French musical (and to a certain extent, the Hungarian version) through that earworm and evergreen bop, Les Rois du Monde. It captures the spirit of their friendship and youthful zeal so delightfully. Mercutio, Benvolio, and Romeo were so well cast you can identify which is which at a glance—and they are literally as far as from my personal faceclaims for them as you can get, and it’s great. Presgurvic didn’t have to go that hard, but he did and it was glorious.

TL;DR

Mercutio roasts him, Romeo enters, they trade quips and wordplay, Romeo roasts him, Mercutio is too happy to gaf, and everything is character-building fun that will pay off very nicely later on, except that versions and productions can’t make the puns and wordplay comprehensible so they prefer to cut or abridge it (ten points from Gryffindor). And all because Mercutio actually misses Romeo and wants his bro back. Bruh.

[whatthefuckisasweep]

how about simmons for the character ask? or someone else from red team? or spencer porkensenson. or all of them if you want! :o)

For the character ask! I did Grif here! Please feel free anyone to ask more, I LOVE DOING THESE! Also thank you so much Mikey, this is a really thoughtful ask ;-;! I would do all, but that'd be WAY too long. So, Simmons!

Why I like them: Simmons is not only relatable as fuck with his social awkwardness and sass, but also in an odd way, comforting? Like he's nerdy and all that, but also chaotic and just. Emotionally fucking damaged all the time. yet he's more vocal with being nice and caring and showing his emotions. I just, I want to hug him? Like, he deserves so much, seeing that he always searches for affection and puts up with Grif's shit. I think what draws me to him most is just his growth through the series - from just nerd who'd sacrifice everything to get on top to... absolute fucking leader that does the right and logical thing most of the time and comes up with the BEST plans? DID YOU HEAR HIM TALK TO TEMPLE LIKE THAT? LIKE BRO, THIS BRAVE MOTHER- i mean, he's even gotten way better at talking about his insecurities, it warms my heart!

Why I don’t: LOL. hm. sometimes it just seems like he's filler? I wish he had more parts. Lol yes, my thing i don't like about him is that he isn't well used in the show SOMETIMES LOL

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Mm. I don't know. There's so many good simmons moments... I'd probably say that Room Zero is way up there, and Brick Gulch. Simmons plays big roles in those. Also the episodes where he goes Blue-- those are always SO fun. Hm. The one in the cave, the episodes with his recruits on Chorus, when he was gunning down all the Wyomings, the episode at Rat's Nest, the episode where him and grif meet. The one in S10 where he rides up next to Grif with the orchestral music. OH, where Sarge and Grif rescue him and Doc! And of course the end of s15--

Favorite season/movie: Probably s7-8 (just with him going 'OH FUCK WLECOMETOTHENEIGHBORHOOD" won me over, also he was a poor fucking meow those seasons), and s15 because there is so many Simmons moments. Although I will say BGC Simmons was... hrk. Fine. BGC Simmons. all of him. esp the scene where grif tricks him abt the tank, and when he gets called tomato can LOL

Favorite line: oh, fuck. god. i dont know!!!!!!!!!! "Greetings websurfers--" JKJK -- I literally can't think of any right now that are like, all time favorites. Once again, I do like "OHFUCK WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBOR HOOD"... there's also, uh "WAHT THE FUCK IS THIS PAST TENSE BULLSHIT?!" and "hah, take that! Suck it Blue- I mean Red! Suck it, Blue-uh, damn! Red! God, this is harder than I thought..." Bascically, anything where Simmons fucks up his words due to nerves or has a breakdown

OTP: answered in the Grif one, but Grimmons!

Brotp: Simmons and Caboose/Donut. CMON. He's got SUCH big brother energy? Like, PLEASE. Also I NEED MORE SIMMONS AND KAI INTERACTION!?!?!?!?

Head Canon: Simmons is an animal magnet. Cats LOVE him, dog LOVE him. He's particularly fond of hamsters and guinea pigs

Unpopular opinion: IDK... uh. i think most of my opinions are popular! simmons isn't REALLY a red head, he's got more of a browner auburn hair?

A wish: everyone wishes this but more knife simmons !!!!!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: it already happened it was the simmons labryinth

5 words to best describe them: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (cries) (sucks up) (feral)

My nickname for them: sim. rich. :3

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s R&S - Little Bro’s Self-Cultivation

🍒This R&S (小弟的自我修养) is part of the Dream Heart Lake event which has not been released in EN🍒

Note: There’s a lot of filler, so most of it is in bullet-point form

Cancelled Gavin R&S:

> minor’s memos

> tilted time

> little bro’s self-cultivation ♡

> ashes

This R&S focuses on a guy called Zhang Liang Wan (”Zhang”), who is known for his unparalleled skills in acquiring information. In EN, his name is “Johnny Legs”

He usually spends his day sleeping or drinking. When he runs out of money for drinks, he would collect protection fees from outside the bar with his fellow lackeys

One evening, he and his lackeys intimidate a random lad dressed in Givenchy

Suddenly, one of his lackeys, who was supposed to collect protection fees from another part of the bar, is flung over

Seeing this, Zhang no longer cares about the Givenchy Lad on the ground. He tosses aside the cigarette butt in his hand and roars: “Who dares to touch my men? You don’t want to live?”

“Who did you say doesn’t want to live?”

The person who speaks steps out from the shadows. He has a hand in his pocket, his face full of impetuousness and unruliness.

Zhang recognises Gavin - the first time they met, it was behind a school. And instead of Givenchy Lad, Zhang was the one who ended up on the ground

Zhang gets his men to beat Gavin up

Of course:

The only person left standing is Gavin. He pats the dust off his hands, completely unscathed.

He crosses through the thugs lying on the floor and grabs Zhang, fishing out handcuffs and skilfully cuffing him:

“Do you know the way to the police station?”

Zhang is very surprised that Gavin is now a cop

Surprisingly, Gavin doesn’t send Zhang to the police station

He ends up in the police station a few days later anyway (for the third time this month)

Gavin sees him:

Gavin casts him a glance, then takes out a photograph and shows it to him. He asks: “Know him?”

Zhang looks at the face in the photograph. After a moment of recollection, he instantly replies: “I know him!”

Gavin’s eyebrows arch upwards: “Tell me more.”

Zhang is about to open his mouth, but he suddenly laughs: “Heheh. Captain Gavin, will I get any benefit from it?”

Zhang hurriedly shakes his head. “I wouldn't dare to. It’s just that I’m... not very comfortable here, and it affects my memory.” As he speaks, he rubs his head pretentiously.

Unaffected, Gavin shows Zhang two more photographs: “I can release you earlier, but I want inside information on these three people tomorrow.”

Zhang happily agrees, and he gets released

The time comes for the handing over of information. As per their arrangement, Gavin arrives at the backdoor of the bar, riding a cool black motorcycle. Zhang whistles, offering him a cigarette once the motorcycle stops. 

Gavin remains unmoved: “Speak.”

With a roll of his eyes, Zhang keeps the cigarette. Actually, he didn’t conduct any investigations at all. However, he did create a fake report, and he conveys it to Gavin with a serious expression and a sincere attitude. Gavin listens, a thoughtful expression flashing across his face, his brows gradually furrowing. Watching Gavin’s face, Zhang’s heart sinks. He smiles: “C-captain Gavin, I’m done.”

Gavin responds with a “mm”, then takes out another photograph and dangles it in front of Zhang:

“I know that you’re afraid of going to jail. But what if I show this to Boss Liu?”

At that moment, Zhang can’t bring himself to smile any longer. He feels all the blood draining from his body, and his entire self is frozen in place.

“Captain Gavin! Let’s talk things over. I beg you, please don’t do that!” Zhang is so frantic that he’s about to cry. If that photograph ends up with Boss Liu, he’d meet his doom!

Patting Zhang’s distressed face, Gavin says: “Do you remember the three people I asked you to investigate now?”

Zhang Liang Wan nods, reminiscent of a chick peking rice: “I remember now, I remember now!”

Satisfied, Gavin retracts his hand and puts on his helmet. After starting the motorcycle, he tosses a glance at Zhang Liang Wan through his protective screen:

“We’ll meet at this location and at this time two days later. If you don’t want me to take action, don’t play tricks again.”

On the day they are supposed to meet, Gavin isn’t able to find Zhang at the bar

One of Zhang’s lackeys, utterly terrified, tells Gavin that Zhang might be in a place called Tianjie Alley

Gavin finds him there - Zhang is kneeling on the ground and bleeding, surrounded by over ten people

Gavin saves him before he gets stabbed with a knife

That bunch of police officers are always doing righteous things, living in the bright sunshine, as though all the energy in the world is gathered there.

But Gavin is different. He doesn’t concern himself with doing what’s right, much less concern himself with being in the bright light. So what exactly does he care about?

Zhang Liang Wan is simply unable to comprehend him. But he knows that when faced with such a situation like today’s, the only person who would rush over is Gavin. 

Turns out Zhang did prepare the information! He hands it to Gavin before losing consciousness

After he recovers, Zhang waits outside the police station for Gavin

Out of the three people Gavin asked him to investigate, one person’s information still required clarification. With much difficulty, Zhang managed to source for information. Yet, he has been unable to contact Gavin

After waiting for several days, he finally sees Gavin

The moment Gavin steps off the motorcycle, Zhang Liang Wan greets him: “Big Boss!”

A touch of surprise flashes across Gavin’s face, but it immediately returns to his usual expression. Zhang Liang Wan grins and says: “I’m here to thank Big Boss for saving my life! If it weren’t for Big Boss, I would have been doomed.”

Gavin’s voice is as light as always: “I did it for the information. I was just taking what I needed.”

Zhang is still smiling as he presents an envelope to Gavin: “The information back then wasn’t complete, so you have to add this.” He suddenly remembers something, and stretches his hand towards Gavin. “...that’s right, Big Boss, the photograph?”

Gavin takes the envelope and gives it a look. Then, he lifts his head and casts him a glance: “Do you know that there’s a technology called Photoshop?” 

Without waiting for Zhang to respond, Gavin has already walked past him and entered the police station. Zhang looks at his receding form and seems to be deep in thought. Not long after, he breaks into another smile. He thinks he more or less knows what Gavin cares about.

From then onwards, Zhang becomes Gavin’s informant

One of Zhang’s lackeys asks whether he has collected money from Gavin for his investigation regarding the three men

In response, Zhang says:

“Money money money - only thinking about money the entire day! You all better listen up. The next time you see Officer Gavin, you have to respectfully call! Him! Big! Boss!”

He knows that Gavin will definitely not respond to it, but he sets this unwritten rule anyway.

A person like Gavin is truly a big boss.

-

Other cancelled R&S: here

[lilyvandersteen]

The Christmas Guest Chapter 6

Author’s Note: Chapter 6 is from Blaine’s point of view again. Bit of a filler chapter, but more exciting stuff to come.

Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 and Chapter 5, as well as the Interlude, here on Tumblr, or read the story on AO3 or FF.net.

Chapter 6: Tea and Cookies

Blaine was still mentally lamenting his poor life choices when he heard a polite knock, and Kurt came into the room with a soft smile and an enquiry as to why he’d stayed away for so long.

Well, he had a point there. It wasn’t very polite, when you stayed somewhere as a guest, to hole yourself up in your room and completely ignore your hosts.

So Blaine apologized, and got up to go downstairs again, but Kurt made no move to leave. Instead, they got talking, and straight up skipped the superficial stuff. Soon, they were unburdening their hearts to each other, to the point of ugly crying. Well, in Blaine’s case. There was no ugly where Kurt Hummel was involved.

After a cathartic crying jag and comforting hugs, they switched to more upbeat topics, but Blaine, exhausted from all the emotion, not to mention the snowball fight, was soon struggling to keep his eyes open, and drifted off to the sound of Kurt’s lovely voice.

When he woke up, it was dark in the room, and he heard someone stomp down the stairs.

I slept the afternoon away…

He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and noticed Kurt was lying next to him, still sleeping.

Blaine hesitated, but then gently caressed Kurt’s jaw and stroked his arm until he started to react.

Kurt blinked his eyes open slowly.

“Sorry for waking you,” Blaine whispered, “but if you sleep too long during the day, you won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

Kurt sat up, stretched and yawned.

Blaine saw his shirt ride up and lost his train of thought for a second. When he tuned back in to the conversation, he heard Kurt say, “… and I don’t even want to know what my father thinks we’re doing up here! Let’s go downstairs, we can help with dinner.”

But when they reached the kitchen, dinner was ready to be served.

“I didn’t know it was so late already,” Kurt said to Carole, sounding apologetic, but she waved it off as them being tired from the snowball fight.

During dinner, Finn announced he’d be inviting his girlfriend to come over the day after Christmas.

“Cathy’s coming?” Kurt asked. “Let us know what she likes to eat, okay? Her favorite dish and dessert, so we can make it for her. Oh, I’m so glad I finally get to meet her after hearing so much about her. How did her teacher training with the special needs kids go?”

Finn beamed and started to tell Kurt all about it.

Blaine smiled softly at their enthusiasm. He just loved the way this family was so supportive of each other.

After dinner, Finn started the first Die Hard movie, and Kurt offered to do stack the dishwasher and wash up the pots and pans. Blaine helped him bring everything to the kitchen and load the machine, and then grabbed a tea towel to dry as Kurt started washing up the rest.

“Finn will want to see at least two of those movies,” Kurt told Blaine. “And I don’t care for them. So I’m not going to hurry with the dishes. The more I miss, the better.”

True to his word, Kurt dawdled, telling Blaine about the oven dish that originally belonged to his great-grandmother – “Look, it has her initials and my great-grandfather’s” – and about how everyone in his family had fought to get it when she died, but it had been the youngest grandchild who inherited it, Kurt’s mother Elizabeth. “She had the same initials, you see, and her groom had the right initials too. That’s what Granny Eileen found most important. But the family didn’t agree, and some of them have never spoken to my mother again for the rest of their lives.”

“Just for an oven dish?”

“Just for an oven dish. It’s antique, and apparently worth a lot of money.” Kurt sent Blaine a mischievous smile and added, “I think my relatives would be horrified that we actually use it instead of putting it under glass as a museum piece.”

“I’m sure your Granny Eileen would be glad that you use it.”

“I like to think so too.”

The precious oven dish came very close to being broken when Finn startled the both of them by sticking his head inside the door and yelling that he wanted snacks, but Blaine managed to hold on to it with his fingertips. He carefully set it on the counter to continue drying it, while Kurt scolded Finn for scaring them and told him he’d have to wait until the dishes were done, and then Kurt would whip up a batch of banana oatmeal cookies.

Finn flashed him a smile and disappeared again with a “Thanks, bro, you’re the best.”

Kurt shook his head and rolled his eyes at his brother, but hummed happily as he finished the last of the dishes and then went to the pantry for the staples he needed.

“You can mash the bananas,” Kurt said, handing him a bowl and a fork. “Two bananas should do it.”

All that Kurt added to the bananas was two packets of quick oats and two handfuls of chocolate chips.

“No eggs?” Blaine asked. “No flour?”

Kurt grinned. “Nope. Easiest recipe ever. Just mix it all, put spoonfuls of it on a baking tray and flatten them into a cookie shape, bake for fifteen minutes and you’ve got cookies.”

“I need to remember this one.”

“Of course, we’re not going to tell Finn they only take twenty minutes to make, tops.”

“Right.”

“Or that I’m in fact making two batches.”

Blaine nodded slowly.

“And I’m going to make us some chamomile tea, and we’re eating the first batch before bringing the others to Finn.”

The mischief was there on Kurt’s face again, and Blaine couldn’t help laughing.

“Clever.”

Kurt shrugged. “Necessary. Finn would eat them all in five seconds and we’d be left with only crumbs.”

Kurt’s phone chimed, and when he checked the message, he whooped with joy. “Rachel is hosting a New Year’s Eve party again. Can’t wait to see everyone. Oh, I hope Mercedes will be there, it’s been too long! Finn! FINN!!”

Kurt ran out of the kitchen, presumably to go tell Finn about the party, leaving Blaine to scoop out the cookie dough and put it in the oven.

By the time Kurt came back, the cookies were cooling on a rack and the kitchen was spic and span. Blaine had also made a pot of chamomile tea, like Kurt requested.

“Oh, thank you, sweetie,” Kurt said, pouring them both a cup of tea and taking a cookie. “Sorry for disappearing on you, but I wanted to ask Finn if he’s going too. He’s an ex of Rachel’s, so I wasn’t quite sure. But he’s going. With Cathy.”

“So we’re going too?” Blaine surmised. “Who else will be there, other than Finn and his girlfriend? Tell me about them.”

Kurt needed no more prompting, and while he drank tea and ate cookies, Blaine heard all about a high school glee club with an obscene name, where Kurt had made life-long friends.

About half an hour later, Finn came to look for his cookies himself, seeing as Kurt had totally forgotten to bring him some. There were only six cookies left, and apparently, that wasn’t enough for Finn, who went rummaging in the pantry, resurfacing with a big bag of cheese puffs.

Kurt was still telling Blaine about all of his friends, and Finn laughed. “Better warn Blaine that they’re all a bit crazy. And nosy. You’ve never brought a boyfriend to one of these parties, but let me tell you, they won’t leave Blaine alone. They’ll want to know everything about him. How you met. When you’re planning on getting married, how many children you want, and bla, bla, bla. And Rachel is already on her high horse because apparently, you haven’t told her about Blaine yet, and she fancies herself your BEST FRIEND and can’t believe you would do this to her.”

Blaine looked at Finn with wide eyes.

Uh-oh. We had better coordinate stories.

Kurt shrugged it off. “I might have told Rachel if she’d listen to me for just five minutes, but she never does. Either she’s blathering on and on, and I can’t get a word in edgewise, or she’s in a hurry and has no time to talk. So it’s her own fault, and you can tell her that.”

“Nuh-uh. Took us long enough to get back to being friendly. I don’t want her to hate my guts again. You can tell her yourself.”

“Will do.”

Finn went back to the living room with his snacks, and Blaine directed his wide-eyed stare at Kurt now. “What are we going to tell them?”

[vindicatedvirgil]

only fools rush in / part eight: of flowers and freeing words

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven

TW: sexual innuendo (thanks, Remus), mention of hospital visit, mentions of cancer/chronic illness, VERY vague mentions of domestic abuse, vague mentions of sex, cursing, anxiety attack

chapter summary: Patton reflects on his relationship with Remus, his friendship with Logan, and just... everything.

---

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be

-

Patton wasn’t sure if he believed in fate. Sure, his mom would read him fairytales as a kid and he hoped that someday, he would find where he was meant to be. But he had worked hard to get where he was, taking care of his mom when she got sick, helping to run the flower shop all throughout high school and helping when he could now that he was in college. Everyone he had dated in the past always felt… like a background character, or one of those characters in video games that you only really deal with for one quest and then you don’t see them ever again. A part of his journey, yes, but not someone to join him on the rest of his journey.

And then he met Remus. Remus, who was so unlike anyone he had ever dated, who looked at Patton like he held all of the stars in his hands, who held him so gently after their moments of intimacy that Patton almost felt like a porcelain doll, so fragile, so ready to break in the hands of the person who he loved so dearly, as long as Remus was happy.

It had all happened so quickly; from the moment they met, Patton was in it. Their first date was unlike any other he had ever had, because they both broke down their walls. And as they grew to know each other more, as they progressed physically and emotionally, Patton wanted more and more to believe that Remus was the one he was made for. That, perhaps, Patton Hart, in his mother’s womb all those years ago, was being crafted just so that he could be held tenderly by Remus Creative. 

He didn’t want to lose that. He couldn’t bear the thought of it falling apart; perhaps that was why he reacted so negatively to what Roman did during the power outage. For the first time in his life, Patton had something that he was terrified to lose other than his mother, Logan, and the flower shop. And even though Roman was one of his best friends, maybe especially so, he couldn’t bear the idea that the theater major would get in the way of what was, in Patton’s mind, meant to be.

It haunted his every thought, though. When he curled in Remus’ arms, the fresh afterglow settling above both of them, when he sat in his child development classes, when he cut the stems off of the flowers in the shop, it was all he could think of: Roman’s letter. And now he felt guilty for holding this grudge over him, but he didn’t know how to resolve things; until he realized that opening night of the musical was coming up.

-

“Hi, Mama,” Patton said, stepping into the flower shop, Remus in tow. “How are you today?” She swept him up into his arms, pressing kisses into his hair and on his cheeks.

“Much better now that you’re here, darling.” Her eyes fluttered over to Remus, who smiled, holding his hand out, but she pushed it aside and brought him into the hug as well. “Remus, you look very nice.” Remus glanced down at his outfit; he was wearing his dark green suit and had his hair brought back into a bun; it was the opening night of the play and they were making a quick stop before going to see it.

“Thank you, Ms. Hart.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek before stepping away to look at some roses, allowing time for Patton to explain what he needed.

“Yellow roses, Mama. For friendship,” he said thoughtfully, glancing at the vase he had dropped off with her the other day. “The usual fillers are good, though.” He fidgeted with the ends of his pink skirt a little bit. He had also dressed nicely; it was almost like he and Remus had decided to cosplay as Elphaba and Glinda. Patton wore white pumps, a white shirt with a sparkly bow tie was tucked into the skirt, and some sparkly tights. Remus had nearly dragged him into the bedroom when they met up at the apartment earlier. That would have to wait until later, though, because Patton didn’t want to miss a single moment of the musical. 

-

Patton cheered louder than anyone for Roman, even louder than Remus (which… seemed impossible, but he managed to do it). The only person who rivaled his deafening cries was Janus, who beamed with joy and proudness whenever Virgil was on stage. And even Logan had to brush a few tears from his eyes at the end of the musical, when the entire audience stood and cheered as soon as Roman stepped out into the curtain call.

After the curtain call ended, Janus, Logan, Remus, and Patton stood expectantly where they knew Virgil and Roman would be coming out. Janus held the bouquet for Virgil, and Patton had the one for Roman. They stood there for a while, watching as families and friends greeted the actors and then left, and soon it was quiet.

“Where are they?” Patton asked hesitantly, and he shared a worried look with Janus. “Do you think Virgil had another anxiety attack?”

“They’re probably just fucking,” Remus muttered, his hands snaking around Patton’s waist, leaning down to press his lips to his earlobe. “Exactly what I’ll be doing to you later tonight, little flower.”

“Re!” Patton flushed hard, batting away Remus with his free hand. Janus smirked, a low chuckle escaping as he watched the encounter with the two. “You keep making moves like that and you’ll get nothing but a door in your face tonight.” Patton was teasing, of course, but Remus stepped back, a hand clapping on Logan’s shoulder as the two discussed a project they had in a mutual class.

Finally, Roman and Virgil stepped out of the green room, their hands intertwined. They were both cleaned of their makeup and costumes, and it occurred to them all that since the two were dressed in intricate costumes and makeup for the tin man and the scarecrow that it would take them a little bit longer to finish cleaning up. Janus moved first, scooping Virgil into a big hug, murmuring how proud he was and complimenting his work. Patton stepped up to Roman hesitantly, holding out the bouquet of flowers.

“You did amazing, Ro,” he said quietly, smiling up at his friend, whose eyes brimmed with tears. Roman took the vase with flowers, then set them on an empty table before hugging Patton tightly, sobbing into the smaller man’s shoulder. “Hey, shh, it’s alright. We’re okay, Ro.” As the two hugged tightly, he felt a pat on his shoulder, and glanced to see Logan, smiling brightly, but shaking his head, as if to say ‘you idiots, I love you.’

“Get in here, nerd,” Roman muttered before pulling the smartest of the three into their hug. Patton didn’t know how long the three stood there for, but when they pulled away, Janus was still hugging Virgil tight. Remus gave Roman a brief hug.

“Proud of you, bro. Though I still say the medieval play in high school was your best,” the mustached twin said, and a look of realization crossed Roman’s features.

“You… saw that play?” he asked, and Remus nodded, confused. “Mom and Dad said you didn’t want to go.”

“I sat in the back corner, but I was so proud of you, Bro-man.” Remus smirked at the nickname he had used in the past for his brother, and Roman laughed, pulling his twin in for another hug. “You did awesome tonight.” Patton apparently had snapped a photo of the pair hugging with his polaroid camera, and thus entered the struggle over who would get to put it on the fridge.

Janus won that fight.

-

Patton sat alone at one of the tables in the schoolyard, his brown paper bag full of goodies that his mom made sure to include. It was scary, starting in a new school halfway through the year, and all of the other kids made fun of the flowers he brought in for his new teacher. Then they made fun of him for wearing a pink sweater, for his big round glasses, and for having long hair that his mom had put into a bun for him that morning before he got on the bus.

So, there he was, second grade, sitting all alone. He didn’t mind, because he knew that when he got home, he’d see his mom, and they’d be safe.

“What are you doing?” A voice said from beside him. He looked up to see a boy with square glasses, neatly combed hair, a polo shirt, and a tie. Patton remembered him as the boy who answered all of the questions during the science part of their class. “This is my table.”

“O-Oh… I’m sorry. I just… didn’t have anywhere else to sit.” Patton looked down, trying to hold in his tears. He didn’t want to be known as the kid who cried on his first day at the school, and his mom always knew when he’d been crying. “I’m s-so sorry…” The other boy sighed, sliding into the seat across from him and setting a book down.

“It’s fine, just stay quiet so I can read, okay Patton Hart?” he asked, and Patton looked up at him through teary eyes.

“Y-You know my name?” His voice was shaky, and he slid his glasses up to sit in his hair so he could wipe his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. The other boy nodded.

“You’re the new kid. You have a frog backpack and a notebook with a kitten on it,” the boy said matter-of-factly. “A little bit frivolous, but if it’s what you enjoy, then there is no harm there.”

“Fribolous?” Patton asked, giggling. “You use a lot of big words.” The other boy sighed again, adjusting his glasses.

“Yes. Frivolous. F-R-I-V-O-L-O-U-S. It’s something that does not have any serious purpose or value,” he explained, and Patton nodded, face deep in thought.

“You know that underwater sea animal, porpoise?”

“I am aware of them, yes. Why do you ask?” he asked, and Patton giggled, having thought of the perfect pun.

“So… if I put a porpoise with serious guy glasses and a tie on my notebook… would it stop being fribolous?” He giggled all the way through his joke, and the other boy groaned.

“That was… awful. Why did you do that?”

“I thought it would be funny,” Patton said, sinking down a little. “D-Do you not like jokes?” He thought about his father, who never made any jokes around him. Who glared at Patton whenever the jokes came out of the small boy.

“I do not think that they lead to important discussions, is all,” he explained, and Patton nodded, taking a bite of his sandwich. Then realization struck.

“What’s your name?”

“Oh. I’m Logan Crofters.”

-

As the weeks passed, Patton stayed sitting at Logan’s table, dishing out puns whenever necessary but mostly asking Logan about different kinds of science-related things. He liked the way that Logan explained things; he made a lot more sense than their teacher, sometimes.

“Am I bothering you?” Patton asked one day. He had slid over his grapes to Logan, who was munching on them between reading paragraphs from a book about frogs. 

“What?”

“Am I annoying?”

“No, Patton. you’re not annoying.” Logan seemed a bit exasperated with the question, but he answered it anyway.

“Are we friends?” Patton’s eyes were focused on Logan, it had been so long since he had a friend that wasn’t his mom or one of his many stuffed animals.

“Oh. Um… I don’t know. I’ve never had a friend before.” Logan’s response was curt, and Patton’s jaw dropped.

“What!?” He jumped up from where he was sitting, then ran over to sit next to Logan. “Can I be your best friend, then??”

“Um. Sure?”

“Yay!” He wrapped his arms around Logan tightly.

-

Logan ran into the waiting room of the hospital, finding Patton sitting on a chair, his head in his hands. He approached him quickly, a hand instinctively going to his best friend’s back. “I got here as soon as I could, is she okay?”

“She collapsed, Lo. I just… She went into the back to rinse off the new roses, and when I went to check on her… she was on the ground.” Patton leaned into Logan’s shoulder, tears staining the polo shirt he was wearing. “The doctors say... it might have come back, but they’re running tests.”

“She’s in good hands, Pat. I’m going to text my parents and let them know that I’ll be here with you until she goes home, okay? And then I can be there for you.” Logan’s phone was in his hand, and he sent a quick text.

“Tell me something logical, please,” Patton whispered once the two were seated together, hands twisted together, Patton’s head on Logan’s shoulder.

“Are you sure?” he asked, and just got a nod in return. “Well… logically speaking, a bee should not be physically able to fly–”

“Lo!” Patton was giggling, his grip tightening on Logan’s hand. “You know me so well. Thank you.”

-

The morning after opening night of the musical, Patton entered the apartment, yawning. He didn’t get much sleep thanks to Remus, and he was hoping to take a nap before delving into studying for his final exams. When he entered the apartment, he found Logan sitting at the kitchen table, papers spread out in front of him.

“Hey, Lo. No Janus?” he asked, glancing around. Logan shook his head.

“He went home a while ago. Roman and Virgil are still in bed, though,” he explained, stretching his arms up. “Did you have a good time with Remus last night?” Patton’s face reddened at the question, and he nodded. “Does Hannah like him?”

It still caught Patton off guard whenever Logan referred to his mom by her first name, but they had been friends for almost fifteen years, so of course it made sense. Logan could call her mom, too, if he wanted to. He was there whenever Patton needed him, whenever she had a doctor’s appointment that Patton couldn’t drive her to because someone needed to look after the store.

Patton wondered why Logan did all of this. Sometimes he thought back to that time when he asked him if they were friends, all the way back when they were first getting to know each other. And Patton, little Patton, just… proclaimed them as best friends. Did he shoehorn Logan into their friendship so that he could never branch out?

No, that couldn’t be true, because Logan joined debate and chess and academic decathlon in high school, but still spent all of his free time with Patton. And even once Roman and Janus and now Virgil and Remus entered their lives, he still regarded Patton as one of his best friends.

“Hey, you look like you’re having some troubling thoughts, Patton. Want to talk about them?” Logan’s voice was pulling him back into the present, and he nodded, sitting on one of the stools. He was quiet for a bit, though, and Logan kept writing some notes down until Patton finally started talking again.

“Are you just my best friend out of convenience? Because I claimed you so early on and never really had any other friends? Do you just… stay my friend out of pity?” Patton was looking down until he felt Logan’s hand on his back, and then a laugh came from the usually stoic man.

“Patton, you’re my best friend because everyone else is annoying. If I didn’t want to be your friend I wouldn’t be, you’re a lot to deal with but I’ve been dealing with you for fifteen years and I plan on dealing with you for many more.” Logan’s voice was serious, and Patton could tell that he meant what he was saying. He leaned into Logan, wrapping his arms around his best friend.

“Thanks, Lo. Love ya.”

“Love you too, Pat.”

-

Patton’s arm burned, but in a good way. Underneath the plastic he could see the vibrant colors of his very first tattoo, his mother’s favorite flower and a bee sitting on its petals, to remind him of Logan. He didn’t tell anyone that he was getting it, not even Logan, so when he got home to find Logan sitting at the kitchen table doing homework while talking to his mom, he was surprised.

“Lo? What are you doing here?” he asked, putting his arm behind his back so neither of them could see. He kissed his mother on the cheek before sitting on one of the chairs beside them.

“I came by to study but Hannah said that you went out for something,” Logan explained, pushing his glasses up further on his nose.

“What did you do, baby?” his mother asked, glancing at him carefully. He was still hiding his arm, but he smiled and brought it out, settling it on the table.

“I uh, I got a tattoo, Mama,” Patton said hesitantly. She looked at it carefully, smiling a little bit. “A sunflower. Your favorite.” Logan eyed the tattoo as well, nodding in understanding. “To celebrate you beating the cancer again.”

“Patton, will you take me to get a tattoo?” Logan’s voice was there suddenly, and the two Harts looked at him with surprised expressions.

“Lo, you… want a tattoo?”

“I want to get a constellation tattooed on my shoulder. The one that was in the sky on the day we became best friends.”

-

Patton leaned into Remus’ side, the taller man’s arm wrapped around his shoulders. They were at the cafe, the others having gone home long ago to study or sleep, but the couple stayed long after, chatting with Remy whenever he brought them over refills on their drinks or small pastries. Remus’ grip got a little tighter around Patton each time he shone his signature bright smile at the barista, earning a soft thigh squeeze from the smaller man and a kiss on the cheek. Maybe that was why he did it; not because he was worried about Patton flirting, but because his boyfriend always comforted him with those delicate touches and sweet kisses. 

The bell above the door to the cafe rang gently as a few men stepped in. Remus glanced out of the corner of his eye at them, and he thought his heart would stop. “Shit,” he muttered, looking down, earning a confused squeak from Patton. “Shit, we need to go. Right now.” Patton glanced over at the group of men, all dressed in leather, covered in tattoos and piercings, evil smirks on their faces as they noticed Remus.

“Do you know them?” Patton asked softly, and Remus buried his face into the other’s shoulder, a small note of truth escaping his mouth. “Are they…?” He didn’t need to finish the sentence. Patton wasn’t a fool; he could tell by Remus’ body language and the way he tensed up that this was the group of boys he had spent time with in high school. “I’ll go pay our tab, will you be okay?” Remus said nothing but gripped onto Patton tighter, shaking his head.

“Remus Creative,” one of the voices said, dark and gritty, and Remus cringed, looking up at him. Him. “Looks like you found yourself a precious pansy, hm?”

“Fuck off,” his voice was weak, trembling, and the memories of those eyes tore through him. 

“Aw, don’t worry, kitten, he’ll tire of you soon enough and you won’t have to deal with his voices and crude comments,” another one said, and Patton considered lunging at him, but held back, because Remus was trembling beside him. 

“Everything alright, babes?” Remy was there, thank god, and Patton smiled sweetly at him, taking his debit card out of his pocket.

“Can we pay off our tab, please, Remy? We have to get going,” Patton said, his eyes flickering from the barista to the men, and a wave of understanding seemed to cross Remy’s face, who nodded and took the card, going back to the counter speedily.

“Running away again, Remus?” That voice asked again, and the mustached man shuddered, unable to look away from the grimace on his face. “You were always so good at that.” Patton’s frown deepened, and he glared at the man. “Aw, are you going to try to defend him, little kitten? Trying to be so cool with those floral tattoos–”

“I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF!” Remus was standing, his fists clenched, glaring at the men. Patton scrambled to his feet, a hand gripping the back of Remus’ jacket. Remy reappeared, handing the debit card to Patton, placing himself between Remus and the group of men.

“Alright, boys. Get out. You’re not welcome here if you’re going to torment some of my best customers.” His voice was firm, and they all glanced at the ‘Manager’ title on his name tag. “I don’t want to have to call the authorities. Get. Out.” The group scrambled out the door, the bell clanging almost annoying to the three, and Patton’s arms were around Remus.

“Hey, you okay, babe?” he asked, feeling his taller boyfriend shaking, his head low. “Shh, it’s okay, everything is okay, we’re okay.”

“Are you babes gonna be okay?” Remy asked, still standing there, arms crossed as he watched the group of men outside in deep discussion. 

“Thank you, Remy,” Remus finally spoke, his voice still low. “If you hadn’t stepped in… I might have done something I’d regret.” Remy smiled, setting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, no one messes with my babes like that,” he said before going back to behind the counter. Patton’s lips were against Remus’ cheek, grounding him.

“Let’s go, Re.”

-

Remus woke up, feeling Patton’s arms around him loosely. The smaller man was snoring softly, and Remus smiled, carding his fingers through the fading pink hair. When they got back to his bedroom last night, he needed to be grounded, and Patton was there, being gentle and soft, his hands and lips all over his body until Remus felt relaxed enough to fall asleep. 

Patton groaned a bit in his sleep, stretching his arms and legs, his eyes fluttering open to meet Remus’. “Hi,” he said softly, his voice heavy with sleepiness. “Morning, little flower,” Remus said, leaning down to press a stinky-mouthed kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “Thank you for last night.”

“Oh. Of course, honey. Anything for you,” he said quietly, but Remus could tell something was on his mind. “What did they mean by… you tiring of me, or running away?”

“Before you… I never really had a… committed partner. I’d run at the first hint that things were getting serious, when they said those words, I ran,” Remus explained, looking down. “But… that’s not going to happen with you, Patton. You mean so much to me, you’re… everything to me.”

“Everything?” Patton asked, a smile appearing on his face, his lips pressing to Remus’ cheek and then his neck.

“Patton,” he started, his heartbeat speeding up, and he wondered if the other could hear it because soft blue eyes met his green ones. “I love you.” Patton blinked, absorbing the knowledge, and then his arms were around Remus’ neck, their lips pressing together joyously. 

“I love you too, Remus.”

Remus smiled into the kiss. He wasn’t afraid anymore. Patton was there, he was with him, and everything was good. And if things came up, they’d work through them together. They were a team, and they always would be. He kept repeating those words between kisses, the weight from his mouth lifted, and he wished he could have said those words to Patton weeks ago, because it felt so right to say them.

---

teaser for part nine: and the dark one is soft for the sunshine one

Roman wanted to object, but he knew that Virgil would just remind him of their nights practicing for the auditions, their super early mornings running lines, the way Roman was always there to watch Virgil’s scenes. Virgil was there too, always supporting, always smiling, even when his anxiety got the best of him, even when it was hard to focus.

part nine will be (hopefully) posted on Sunday, September 6 at 12PM PDT

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part nine | part ten

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taglist

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@aricana8

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@thiel

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@cemmy

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[darkelite020]

Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 12

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- So I sort of expected it by the end of last episode but it seems like last episode was a start of an episode arc about hera's family, which, for rebel's fans I'm sure it's cool and exciting and maybe answers some questions or will actually show things discussed in rebels maybe, but as someone who hasn't seen rebels yet, I really hope this episode and the next few have more bad batch screentime, cause we were a little robbed last episode lol (but in a way I do still enjoy this stuff too, because im sure when I DO watch rebels it'll make the experience better). -- I'm not disliking this arc or anything, but up to this point we've kind of had almost mandalorian style 'one episode one adventure' sorts of episodes, and personally I really hope we get more of that (which I think we will), because while this is all new content and everything, we all have to admit clone wars had some less interesting filler arcs here and there, and I just hope bb doesn't fall the same way (across all of its seasons, im not very concerned about it so far from what we've seen of season 1) because if there is filler, I'd rather sit through a couple of the one episode stories, rather than a 3-4 episode story that takes nearly a month to get through if im disliking it, mostly for the fact that even if we got those 1 ep fillers, its more stories and more likely I'd like at least one. ---kinda rambling about this unnecessarily atm cause while again right now I think bb is fine, I just want the future to be that way too. - fffff every time I see howzer on screen I think of that fucking audio thats "here comes the boy, hello boy~" and honestly can you blame me he is so precious like ugh I swear dave you better be nice to him -- YOU CAN TELL HE FEELS SO BAD AND GUILTY LIKE IT HURTS - hey admiral can you not be MEAN to howzer when he is trying to be fucking helpful -- ;-; BRO im saying it so much already but I feel so bad for howzer like dude someone help him --- imo it feels like its sort of setting up howzer for something more important in the show kinda, at least for his character. Like we can clearly tell he doesn't really agree with the empire and I think they're going to do something with that. He's probably undercover for someone against the empire but I get the bad feeling they're gonna pull a Fives and have him go against the empire and help everyone else somehow but then he will probably end up dead because we cant have nice things. - hello cross... bet you wont be saved this episode - Ok good, some more bad batch here already. -- ALSO GONKY BEING DEFECTIVE!!!! EVEN GONKY IS DEFECTIVE LIKE BB THATS SO CUTE! - uh, im not the only one getting the leia transmission vibes from hera, right? -- ok, again I haven't seen rebels so I dont know BUT if hera has the ability to talk to bb, couldn't she have done so in rebels? Yeah she's older and im sure better at fighting and defending herself and all that, but wouldn't it still be possible for her to have gotten in some kind of rough situation in Rebels to ask for bb's help again? I super doubt bb made any appearance of any kind in Rebels, so doesn't that imply that she lost communications with them? What happens to bad batch >> - bad batch not wanting to help but because omega really wants to you can see its making hunter soften up and I appreciate it - bruh what??? Taa is dead af, like theres no way the show is gonna pull some magic and be like 'oh yep here he is' thing??? Like this has to be a lie, but even then, what even is the plan here?? Saying "oh hes recovering" well he can't be recovering forever, how does that seem like a good plan to lie about that?? People are gonna find out?? - "Great just what we need" from Wrecker about crosshair MAKES ME ANGRY LIKE??? YES?? DONT BE MAD AT HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT??? SAVE YOUR FUCKING BOY??? -- oooo then the rest of bb doesn't comment about it literally gsjrkgbdkfbg why do they not care about him???? Like it seems they legitimately dont care about crosshair, even though theyve been together for so long like even before the show came out they

had history together and were all really close. I know people argue "oh well its just difficult to save him and its unrealistic for them right now" but so what? Even if they aren't trying to save him they should at least CARE about him. --- Which is also like the thing with echo and fives!!!! Like Echo didn't seem to care much at all when Rex mentioned fives even a little! Or even about seeing Rex that much!! Dave I'm gonna need some answers my guy, cause you humanized these characters but then you dont make them act that way so like whats up. - Lucky hunters abilities came in handy - Back to crosshair for a second im predicting they 100% arent saving him this season. There was a poster released part way through the season and he's not even on it... makes me so sad. - "I'd do the same for you." ;-; that didnt need to get that deep - CROSSHAIR BETTER NOT START SHIT WITH HOWZER - Howzer helping Hera's parents or at least implying that is good but that also means im right so far and therefore worried >> -- HES GOING TO GET FUCKING CAUGHT I BET TALKING TO THEM LIKE THIS AT SOME POINT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET ITS GONNA BE CROSSHAIR THAT CATCHES HIM --- Cham stfu its literally so obvious that howzer is trying to be genuine, also if he's kind of undercover for him like what the fuck do you expect howzer to do if he has to play along with the empire to keep his cover?? "Won't make that mistake again" Fuck off like honestly. ---- #stopbeingmeantohowzer2021 - "A little help" and the gentle "Hey" ahh love it - I'm really enjoying this whole them fighting in the ships sequence - "Stay here and guard the capitol" SCARES ME -- Please for the love of god bad batch don't get howzer killed --- or plot B Bad batch maybe run into howzer but save him and take him with you at least temporarily ---- oh god.... bb is helping heras parents escape and that means howzers gonna get in trouble.../probably replaced by crosshair - Crosshair is smart but thats also badddd - The scene of howzer and crosshair looking at each other is killing meeeeeeeee - Ohhh is howzer gonna stop them before they go out the door? -- YES HE IS SEE WHAT A GOOD BOY HE IS - (please fucking listen to him I beg) - Aw dude I just had a thought that breaks my heart... howzer cares about his squad and "trying to get through to them" but what if his squad is clones as well and the chips... that hurts me so badly... -- Like we all know howzer is a sweet boy by now but ughhh like the thought that he doesnt want to leave them even though they are doing whats wrong shows just how much he cares and I really hope he doesn't get into trouble because of what he's saying to them, but you know he totally would do it because he seems to care about them so much and :( bad batch more like sad batch --- This is the kind of compassion I wanted from bb for crosshair hunter kind of looks back at howzer as they leave him and I doubt itll mean anything but I really hope that maybe seeing how much howzer cares will make hunter care a little too... - *sigh* howzer is getting left behind by them which we know why but yeah... now he's definitely going to be in trouble... I just hope they don't hurt him... - OH GOD HOWZER BABY DONT -- He's making a speech and I know he's trying to sway them but you know damn well this is gonna go so badly for him because of the chips and crosshair is watching so you know howzer is gonna get fucked here and I know what hes trying for but I really wish he didnt just do that because now its blatantly obvious he's gonna be against them ;-; - Wow ok im kinda shocked people are siding with him (I guess cause theyre not all clones right) but I feel so bad for themmmmm - Crosshair missed multiple shots? Uh what? I didnt think that was possible lol - bb please come back for howzer and the others at some point.... -- I guess maybe if hera's parents are going to organize rebels against the empire maybe they will help them but I somewhat doubt it... - Ok I know that crosshair requesting to hunt them was supposed to be this big moment and all but I

can't help but feel like its a little underwhelming (but dont get me wrong still cool vibes) because he's kind of already been doing that anyway?? Or has tried to several times?? So I don't get why its a big deal, however, I do have a possible prediction: We know that bb got their chips removed, (crosshair doesn't, I know that) and so that eliminates the idea that they will get caught and actually go bad like crosshair, but it does leave a possibility where maybe they get captured and then *pretend* to be bad? And that could lead to a better possibility of helping crosshair (they wont) or maybe howzer and the other rebels or something? Cause I also feel like its significant that they brought up how the war will eventually come to them and bb will be a part of it no matter what eventually, and it makes obvious sense theyd be on the rebels side of it, so maybe something like that goes on, idk.

[benisasoftboi]

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel I:

So I did like it overall, but I have a lot more criticisms of it than I did of the previous games 

Which also means I have way more to say!

Tl;dr - Rean Schwarzer, Estelle Bright you are not

Also, spoiler warning for both this game and the previous ones

So... the pacing in this was weird. Like I loved all the field study segments, they were SO fun, but there’s also the Trista segments between which very boring and felt like filler

I think it’s meant to make the ending feel more important, since you’re defending the school, but it kind of backfired because being forced to run around Thors (which is not a very interestingly designed location, by the way) over and over and over again actually made me kind of resent it. To a point where I low key wanted the ILF to destroy the school. Oops

Like I cared about Liberl and Crossbell because they were interesting, and big, so I never really got tired of them. I got tired of Trista very quickly

Also having everyone in school uniform made their designs less interesting :/

The other places were all super interesting, though! I think if I had to pick a favourite I’d say Bareahard, but they’re all contenders really 

Oh also the other issue with the structure was that everyone had to be mad at someone at all times, and it was almost comical how systematic it was - Rean and Alisa don’t get on, that’s resolved, now let’s focus on how Machias and Jusis don’t get on, that’s resolved, IMMEDIATELY we’ll replace that with Fie and Laura, then the moment that’s resolved it’s Jusis and Milliam...

Like, be a little less formulaic in your character conflict

Anyway, characters!

I do not like the thing where the character’s name appears in front of them before they say it. It was irritating

Elliot: The one I would have been in love with when I was eleven. Elliot is good and sweet and did nothing wrong ever. Holy Song is the most useful craft in the whole goddamn game. He also has easily the best S-Craft in a game where most of the S-Crafts are *decidedly* lackluster, aesthetically speaking. I like Elliot. His friendship with Gaius is also very nice

Jusis: The one I would have been in love with when I was fourteen. So, the moment I saw Jusis, my immediate first thought was ‘oh, this guy is one half of a gay ship’. I had no clue who the other guy was going to be, but I knew there was absolutely no way that Anime Draco Malfoy wasn’t getting shipped with a man. 

And then Machias opened his mouth, and... every franchise, no matter what, has its gay OTP (its homoTP, if you will) - that one, usually M/M, but sometimes F/F, ship that’s practically got a whole side-fandom just for itself. Up until now, I assumed Trails’ was going to be Olivier/Mueller - but while I haven’t checked, because I don’t want spoilers, I will be shocked if these guys aren’t actually it. They have every making - opposites attract, enemies to lovers, they sing together, other characters make jokes about it...

Like, this was deliberate, surely? Surely?

yes i ship it but like, against my will and resentfully and semi-ironically, because I hate myself for instinctively taking the bait >:(

Something something ‘Turbo-Gehenna’ joke

Anyway, I like Jusis. I think he’s a fun character, easily the most interesting of the boys, and I really enjoyed his development. He has a cute smile

I also thought he had the best voice acting in Class VII, so I looked it up and Ben Diskin! I love Ben Diskin! I couldn’t even tell, I had no idea his range was that great, wow!

I did think it was extremely weird that if you invite him to the Stella Garten, he says he wants to date a woman who is ‘like his mother’. Okay, Jusis.

Machias: The one I would have been in love with when I was seventeen. You ever meet someone who’s like... always right, really, but in such an obnoxious way that you wish they weren’t. Machias. He would have been way more interesting if he was just a really politically minded teen who needed to learn tact, rather than yet another member of the Trails Dead Family Member Club (the fact that it was revealed right after Elliot’s Dead Family Member Club story did not help). Still, he really did grow on me in the end. He’s a little dork

Gaius: The one I would be in love with now, if not for the fact that he’s only seventeen and thus a little baby in my eyes. I do love his design the most. Can he say even one line that’s not about the wind, though? I also like that he’s one of very few characters in this franchise to not have a tragic backstory, was very refreshing. 

I can only assume, therefore, that Nord will undergo ethnic cleansing in Cold Steel II

Crow: oh boy Crow hahahahahaha. I don’t know how I feel now. Uhhhh... what did ‘the things I do for love mean’? I am curious

Alisa: I don’t like tsunderes much, and I found her ‘being mad at Rean for something that was absolutely not his fault’ thing very, very stupid and it did not endear me to her at all (also, like, if you had to have that - a better way would have been for him to accidentally injure her, rather than... ugh, look, I am a woman with large breasts - accidents really do happen irl. There’s no point in getting that mad about it. There just isn’t. I have no patience for this kind of plot). It also bothered me how possessive of Rean she got, I swear I picked Towa over her half out of spite. I don’t hate her, though, to be clear - I loved her plot with her mother and that scene in Nord. And her relationship with Ferris! She’s great when she’s not talking about Rean, basically

I don’t buy her as Rean’s love interest, honestly. Rean consistently shows more attraction to Emma, and has more (mandatory/canon) moments with Towa. It only felt one-sided to me 

Laura: I like Laura a lot. I don’t really have anything to say about her, just that she was consistently good, and I appreciated her maturity and self awareness, I love her and Rean being sword bros, she’s just great

Fie: I think Fie was designed to appeal to exactly me personally. Tiny snarky badass girl with a great design? That’s everything I love and aspire to be! Best girl in the game (didn’t date her though because she’s fifteen and I refuse to date anyone who is younger than the protagonist when I play games set in high schools. Feels weird enough dating teens the same age as my character. Also she had 0 romantic chemistry with Rean)

Millium: She’s fine, good voice acting, want to know more about Lammy, no strong feelings

Towa: I wasn’t going to date anyone, but changed my mind because I really liked Towa... and then I looked at her, and saw a tiny girl with long, light brown hair and soft voice, and realised I just want to date myself

I checked, and according to Playstation Trophies, at least, she’s the least picked girl? The only characters picked less than her are the non-Crow boys (Machias is the least popular, which... I feel a little mean for finding hilarious lol)

Emma: I like Emma herself just fine. Don’t get me wrong. But she’s infuriating as a mystery character, because she’s the worst kind of mystery - the kind that relies on the other characters to NEVER AT ANY POINT ASK THE QUESTIONS THAT A NORMAL HUMAN WOULD ASK

Estelle would have asked

Rean has multiple opportunities to ask her to explain herself, and he doesn’t! One time, she straight up ASKS HIM TO ASK, and he doesn’t! That’s not mysterious anymore! That’s just incredibly annoying!

Lloyd would have asked

And no one else asks either! Some of them, fine - I can understand say, Elliot or Gaius or Millium - but Jusis!? Jusis, who has been there for pretty much all of her mysterious vague magic, and has repeatedly shown himself to be willing to be kind of rude, and may not be that interested in other people but certainly isn’t stupid - while they’re in the Schoolhouse Depths, Jusis isn’t going to grab Emma by the shoulders and demand she explain what she knows? He’s just going to go with it as she refuses to elaborate on things? 

Really?

Kevin would have - actually, no, Kevin would have already known because Kevin Knows All, but he would have told everyone else, so same outcome 

Rean: And that brings me to Rean. Rean... is a JRPG Protagonist. He is good, and noble, and he gives Inspiring Speeches, and he can date all the girls (which means we don’t really get any interesting opposite-gender friendships, because oh no, a threat to the harem!), and he is so, so boring. My god

Hey remember how I praised Sky for how great it was to have Estelle be an actual person with flaws and personality? No you don’t, no one’s reading all of these, but yeah - Estelle is just as colourful and full of life as the rest of Sky, while Rean is the least interesting character in Cold Steel no contest

Oh he has a super powered dark side, oh, well, that’s a game changer, never seen that before except in every 2000s shounen anime. Also we never actually learn the Super Rean rules, so that dramatic moment where he’s thinking about transforming to fight Scarlet isn’t actually that dramatic because I had never realised it could kill him until he said so in that moment

Oh except he’s also an awakener and can summon a Persona giant mecha suit! Because he’s the most special boy to be very special? I have never seen that in a JRPG before except in all of them

In Sky, Estelle wasn’t special. Except she was, but it wasn’t because she had super awesome secret awesome powers and all the boys liked her best. It was because she was flawed, but always trying, and because she was incredibly brave and optimistic no matter what, and because she was the kind of person who told a god summoning evil mastermind ‘lol no’ and then beat him with a stick, and because she really, believably loved her friends. She loved them. And they loved her. Not the player she was the avatar of. Estelle herself

Estelle Bright has ruined me for all other JRPG protagonists, is what I’m saying

Oh also Rean has that whole speech about how they can’t cancel the festival to protect people from an unknown threat, that’s not fair to meeeeee, and as someone who has lived through the year 2020 -  go to Gehenna, Rean 

Olivier is back!!! And yeah I’m going to keep calling him that, that’s who I know him as, and also Olivert is a silly name

Even more importantly, Mueller is back!!! And he and Olivier still have the best comedy dynamic in the series, joyous day! THAT is love and peace, baby!

Sara really, really grew on me :) I want to see her interact with Schera so bad

I didn’t really like Sharon up until I worked out OH SHE’S OUROBOROS, because yessssss more of them! Also, yessss, guessed it!

Angie... predatory lesbian stereotype aside, Angie’s super interesting and I want to see more of her yes please

George is like, the most inoffensive character I’ve ever seen, but apparently he has haters? What!?

What is with these games and naming characters/things French words, and then PRONOUNCING THEM WRONG

I do not care that the official pronunciation is ‘Blue Blanc’. I will continue to pronounce it ‘Bleu Blanc’. Because that’s what you guys actually wrote, Christ alive

I have a French GCSE and I will use it for something, goddamnit

I took Jusis on the bike trip and he looked so adorably goofy in the little sidecar. Best moment of the whole damn game for me

I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have played this game first, as I know a lot of people did. Specifically in regards to Olivier (or Olivert, I guess)

Like... imagine meeting this guy for the first time as a fairly serious leader of an important faction, participating in vital political machinations. Imagine meeting him here and not knowing about the Grand Chardonnay incident. Imagine not knowing about that time he stopped a riot by riding up in a boat and singing. Imagine not knowing he has a rivalry of aesthetics with a terrorist. Imagine not knowing what I was referring to when I said ‘that’s love and peace, baby’ just now

Incomprehensible

Side note, if you had told me, on one of those warm August days when I was first playing Sky FC, that the silly man in the white coat was actually one of the most important characters in the franchise, I would not have believed you for a second 

But on that subject, I was also trying to work out who a first time player would be siding with... like, I’ve played Sky and experienced Zero (currently working way through Azure as well), which means that my immediate reaction to all of Erebonia’s politics was ‘trust whatever Olivier and the bracers say, don’t trust anyone else’. But someone starting with Cold Steel has no reason to have loyalties to those factions, so I’m curious 

Side note, having played the previous games also massively impacted how I viewed the ILF - I’m very confident that I would have just taken them being evil for granted if I’d played this first, but considering they hate Osbourne... and Olivier does not like Osbourne... that kind of made me a lot more suspicious of who I was really meant to side with

I really liked most of the NPCs in this. I especially became weirdly fond of Beryl

However, I do now also have characters I actively dislike, a series first! Gwyn (creepy old man), Neithardt (sexist jerk, kick his arse Beatrix), and Dorothee (...could write a whole essay on the myriad reasons I do not like that particular archetype) get in the bin

Good god, every interaction between Rean, Emma and Dorothee made me want to smack the lot of them with my controller, Dorothee for being an absolute creep, and Rean and Emma for overcorrecting into low key homophobia (seriously Rean, you’re friends with a lesbian, the idea of the existence of gay men should not shock you this much)

Re: Elise... I heard the words ‘non-blood related younger sister’ and my eyes rolled so far back in my head I was afraid they wouldn’t come back down

Took me a while to figure out, but ideal team is Elliot, Jusis, Machias, with Laura and Fie as back-up

I would like to find whoever’s idea it was to make the S-Crafts unlock as the game progresses rather than just be there when you get the character, and shake them until they apologise. Have them evolve with the story, sure, but not having them at all wrecks the battle flow so much. Emma was unusable to me until chapter-goddamn-FIVE

I loved the Annabelle subplot, and the punchline that the person her family wanted to marry her off to was a Lakelord... I actually yelled

The concert was so hyped, and then there weren’t even any real songs (aside from the re-use of the end credit song from Sky, which made me very happy. And Olivier singing along made me laugh out loud)

TOVAL IS TOBY!?!?! 

Man I’m so mad at myself for not reading Carnelia in/after FC (read it in 3rd), but still - what a reveal!

AND WHAT AN ENDING

I mean. At first

They did such a good job building the tension, and then-

The Crow twist, my GOD, when I tell you I freaked the fuck out... I was totally convinced that it was Claire. Or possibly Campanella on stilts. I completely overlooked that there was another major character with a C name, and honestly I’m glad I did because I have not been this shocked by a reveal in a while

And then I stopped taking it seriously when I saw the robots with heelys 

It was all.. we had a very final boss-y final boss, right? Excellent final boss fight, very fun, very satisfying. And then the game just... kept going. I accidentally stayed up until 4 AM because I thought I was at the end and it just didn’t stop

And then it did. Very, very abruptly 

(no seriously I was making some snarky comment about how goofy the flying robot suits look and then the game just ENDED, what)

(also worst *actual* final boss I’ve ever seen. the fact that they managed to make a battle between two giant robots, one of which was controlled by a traitorous former friend, feel like an anticlimax... that was impressive, honestly)

So Cold Steel I is... easily my least favourite Trails game so far. Again, I did like it, but like I say... Rean isn’t Estelle Bright. And that’s pretty much my main problem, in the end

Sorry, Class VII

OH MY GOD they never explained why it’s Class VII and not Class VI! My theory is that it’s either something about the Sept-Terrions, or the Seventh Division, since Olivier’s specifically connected to them. Or maybe both

Well - I’m excited to find out!